“I called a divorce attorney after my husband lied. Am I overreacting?”
I (F37) just need non biased opinions. My husband (M37) asked me 2 weeks ago if he could go camping this past weekend with a friend and his brother. He asked via text so I am assured I’m not remembering incorrectly. I said idk because our daughter (5) had a cheer competition and I’d prefer to not drag our son (6) along for that long day.
He offered to arrange for a sitter but I still wasn’t happy because the competition was early and close to our house. Getting her up and ready is already a pain. To add in driving our son to a sitters is just making the morning so much more stressful. We find out she’s a later performance so he decides to go. He says he’s going with his brother as the friend can’t go.
Wednesday night before he left, he specifically said he was nervous with the Verizon outages because he “and his brother” both gave Verizon and they’re hoping they don’t lose access to GPS.
Thursday morning he texts he made it to the campsite safely. I don’t hear from him again. Friday at noon I reach out to make sure he’s alive (he usually texts me life checks daily when camping) I get no response.
By 6pm I am nervous and text my sister in law to see if BIL was able to contact her. That’s when she replies “ma’am, what are you talking about? My husband is on the couch next to me.”
- Saw. Red. In my mind, my husband is still camping but used his brother as a manipulative tool because he assumes I won’t want to ruin his good time. For mild background, we clearly have young kids who need a lot of attention. I work full time and manage basically everything for the kids.
He works a swing shift so is gone 14 hours a day on days he’s working. I’m constantly juggling everything alone so it does suck when he finally has time off and actively chooses to spend it so detached/not being helpful in anyway.
Saturday he finally texts that he has service again and is coming home. I ignored his text. He called, but I was driving with our daughter in the car so a call wasn’t appropriate.
When I could I texted him calling him out on his lie. He doubled down and said he didn’t lie, it was a change in plan because by the time he knew our daughters start time was late enough that he could go, it was too late to invite his brother.
It’s now Monday. He’s been living out of our basement or at work so he has not tried to talk to me at all and instead is taking the stand that he’s mad at me for being mad. IMO he lied to me. He manipulated me. Instead of apologizing when he was caught, doubled down and is using my anger against me. The fact is, I no longer can trust him and contacted an attorney. So… Am I overreacting?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
WestSentence920 said:
He wasn’t camping and wasn’t by him self. Divorce and move on.
bomland10 said:
Did he tell you who he went camping with? It sounds like he was preparing you to expect not to talk to him while he was gone. Did he even go camping? I’d ask him to show you where he was through his phones tracker. This is very fishy.
WhiteLion333 said:
If he camped solo, and he wanted time away from you, he still made your life difficult by making you deal with the kids etc. its very suspicious that he really was stopping at nothing to make this trip happen.
The fact he is angry at YOU could mean he’s having trouble hiding his guilt and deceit. I don’t think this will be the last we hear from you, OP.
LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa- said:
He lied and is gaslighting you. There is no way around it. I think you are well within your rights. Start looking at your accounts for unusual charges or withdrawals. Freeze your credit report. Set up a new account at new bank. SIL & BIL now know he’s being shady. Let’s bet his brother is not going to happy being pulled into a lie. So now you may have an ally.
reallysillymilly said:
He’s 100% cheating and if you can’t see it, it’s because you don’t want to. Denial is comforting but please don’t be stupid.
AlexNKarlie said:
On a happy note, he doesn’t appear too bright so you should get a good settlement.
