“I caught my wife putting something odd in my coffee. Am I overreacting?”
I’m 46M really shaken and need advice to know if I went too far. My wife 49F and I have been married for 4 years, together for 7. She’s always been so kind, always making my morning coffee, and we’ve had a good life together. English isn’t my first language, I speak it well, but sometimes I struggle to explain feelings, so bear with me.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling off after drinking my coffee. Dizzy, nauseous, sometimes my hands shake. I thought maybe it’s work stress or something I ate. But two days ago, I came home early and saw my wife in the kitchen, dropping some kind of powder into my coffee mug from a small, unmarked vial.
It wasn’t sugar or creamer—it looked strange, like medicine or worse. When she saw me, she slipped the vial into her pocket and said it was “just a new coffee mix.” But her voice was shaky, and she wouldn’t look at me.
That evening, I asked her calmly to tell me what it was. She said it was a “natural supplement” to help me “feel better,” but she couldn’t say what it was or why there was no label. I got scared—those symptoms I’ve been having aren’t normal, and she’s never hidden things before.
I told her I needed space to think and asked her to stay at her mom’s for a few days. She got upset, started crying, and said I was overreacting and breaking her trust. She left last night, and now she’s texting me, saying it was nothing harmful and I’m making a big deal out of it.
I kept the vial, but I’m too nervous to test it. I love her—she’s my everything—but I’m scared she might be putting something bad in my coffee. AIO for asking her to leave? I can’t sleep, and I keep checking the locks on the door, feeling paranoid in my own home. Please tell me if I’m wrong here.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
brookiecookie4205 said:
Please get the vial tested… it’s better to know what’s actually going on than be in fear of what COULD be going on.
RandChick said:
You’re scared to test it? Ridiculous. You didn’t call police or go to E.R. even though you haven’t been feeling well. You didn’t get a restraining order?
Justify-my-buy said:
This is not okay OP.
Fragrant_Spray said:
Have her stay at her mom’s until you know what it was. It’s shady AF that she slipped it in without you knowing, but I think you need to know what it actually is before you can fully understand how malicious her intent was.
I think you need to know that to decide how to proceed. Is your wife actually intending to harm you? If so, you aren’t safe enough to even consider trying to fix this. Absolutely not overreacting.
InformalJellyfish said:
She continued to give it to you even after you got sick from it. That’s intentional poisoning in my opinion. Don’t let her anywhere near you, and have the substance tested.
UPDATE:
Thank you all for your response, you guys really helped me clear my head. I was hesitant, but I called 911, and they said they’ll look into. I’m feeling worse each day, dizzy, weak, and my stomach’s still off, so I’m heading to the hospital today to get checked out.
My wife keeps texting, begging to come back and saying it was just a “herbal energy boost” she found online, but she still can’t explain why she hid it. I told her to stay at her mom’s until I know more. I’m scared and exhausted, but I’ll keep you all updated when I get answers. Thanks for making me feel like I’m not going crazy.
SECOND UPDATE:
Hey everyone, I’m at the hospital, sorry for not keeping y’all update, I’m not really feeling very well right now. Thanks so much for all your comments and supports. The doctors ran some tests and said there’s something off in my bloodwork, but they don’t know exactly what yet.
They’re sending samples to a lab, and it’ll take a couple days to get results. They told me to stay here for observation because my symptoms, dizziness, nausea, shaking. So it’s getting worsen very quick. I gave the vial to the police when they stopped by earlier, and they’re testing it. They didn’t say much, but their serious faces freaked me out.
My wife keeps calling and texting, sobbing, saying she’s so sorry and it was just some “herbal remedy” from a friend to “help me.” But she’s still dodging my questions about why she hid it, and it’s making my head spin. I told her we can’t talk until I’m out of here and know what’s going on.
She’s at her mom’s, but her texts are so frantic it’s breaking my heart. I love her, but I don’t think if I can ever trust her ever again. I’m stuck in this hospital bed, and I feel so alone. I’ll keep y’all update when I hear from the lab or police.
