I’m a recently new father of a 1 month old and loving every second of it. Everything is absolutely perfect and going alot smoother than I expected.However something isn’t sitting right with me and I can’t tell if I’m over reacting or whether I’m valid in my worry.

So plenty of people come over to visit and normally everything is fine with no issues whatsoever. Eventually another one of my girlfriends friends come over to meet my son. He comes over and it all seems fine nothing out of the ordinary until my girlfriend says “he needs changing”. I say “sure thing I’m on it”. Pick him up and bring him over to the changing mat. Then he said this:

“I cant wait to watch you change his nappy”.

Theres an awkward silence and my girlfriend laughs it off and says “you’re such a weirdo.” ….

I get this IMMENSE sinking feeling in my gut and immediately feel so worried. I didn’t know what to do, as I couldnt just suddenly say “he doesnt need changing anymore and its also an open plan room layout. I huddle over my son making absolutely sure he cant see my son from the angle he was sat at. And as im changing him he stands up and walks over to try and look at my son. I instantly put a new one on. Im not sure whther he saw or not.

I act casual and hand him over to my girlfriend and sit next to her to make sure he doesn’t get to close to my son.

I pretend everything is fine until he leaves and I tell my girlfriend that I am not comfortable with him coming over again. She asks why and I refer to the comment he made. She is incredibly blasé about it and says “oh he says weird stuff all the time, I think he’s just a bit autistic”. I tell her that its my choice as well on who gets to see my son and he really creeped me out. She then says I’m being dramatic and just brushes it off.

I’m completely lost on what to do, am I the arsehole for wanting to be cautious and did I over react? I’m just so confused and dont really know what I can and cant do. I feel like its a very weird thing to think, let alone say and the tone was just bizzare. It wasn’t a kind of “awe I cant wait to see you change it” although I still think its a strange statement. I just have this weird feeling and don’t know how to handle this situation.

Aitah?

Edit- Update!

After a long LONG talk I am very glad to say we are no longer letting him anywhere near our son. Some absolutely outstanding advice from people here and I’m so glad to see constructive criticism rather than judgement.

From now on he will be changed in private from absolutely everyone, regardless of relationship or gender.

He will never see my son ever again. We’ve agreed not to say that to him and just hope he never notices and if he does and he asks why then we will tell him straight up its because of the comments.

I will never care about how people see me from now on, I absolutely should’ve said something there and then. While I admit its daunting being wrong, id rather be precautious and be seen as the bad guy than ever letting anyone having those thoughts about my son. (I wish I had the rage and not the confusion in the moment).

I honestly cant thank people here enough, she did agree before I showed her these comments but people here have absolutely reinforced my gut feelings and she was shocked that she didnt see it sooner.

I’m still learning as a parent but one thing I absolutely can do no matter what is prioritize my son over peoples emotions.

Thank you so much for your help you wonderful people and I sincerely apologize for not getting back to everyone but I want you to know that each and every comment helped me and my future wife have a better and safer life for our son.