AITAH for not wanting contact with my step kids after their mom passed.
This is other people OP:
NTA. They don’t want a relationship with you – they only want your money. Good riddance. You owe them nothing.
They want a relationship with OP’s bank account.
They seem to be under the illusion their mum had money and left it to OP. I’d be clear with them that OP funded their holidays for years as Katherine couldn’t afford them and there was no money to be inherited. Make it clear the well is dry and hopefully they’ll give up.
Yep. If they thought you were too beneath them to have a relationship with them while their mother was still alive, they can keep their non-relationship after she’s gone.
Go and live your best life without them. Block block blicketty block.
NTA, the kids weren’t raised right and they wasted so much time they could’ve spent with their mom only because they didn’t like you.
Cut them, they are rotten limb and live happily ever after.
I’d have my lawyer send each of them a letter stating you supported their mother, financially, emotionally, physically completely for the last x years with no expectation of anything in return. That their mother had nothing and would have had a ton of debt without you. So, they can go pound sand if they think there is anything for them to inherit other than what they already received – and I’d spell out that each trip and all gifts their mother gave them was financed by you. Then tell them this is their official notice to cease any and all contact with you.
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. You and Katherine sound like lovely people and I’m so glad you found each other. It’s despicable that her children distanced themselves from you until they wanted something.
Gifting them sentimental artifacts from your wife was quite kind. She had no money left to give to her children and you financed her ability to see them, yet they treated you badly.
Your holiday trip with friends sounds like very healthy self-care.
It’s OK to be done with them. With hope, somewhere down the road, they’ll recognize their unkindness to you. And to be a petty bitch, their dad can get glad in the same pants he got mad in.
I’m glad that you seem to have a good support system. You gave Katherine a good life and I hope your kindness rewards you 7X what you did for her.
NTA
Send their Dad this link tomorrow because I can guarantee 99% of posters will say NTA
To the kids just send the same text to each of them basically saying :-
I happily completely funded your Mum in her last years including paying for her trips to see you all and with you all as she had no funds. It was due to us getting married that she had access to good health care through my work
I did this because I loved her and wanted her to be happy and well looked after
I will always have good memories of when you were children and I have amazing memories of your Mum and I wish you all happiness for the future
If any of them push back just be a bit blunter and say :-
As you are all adults who have chosen to remove me from your lives years ago I don’t consider there is any reason to keep in touch further and I certainly don’t have any responsibility to fund you but once again I reiterate my wish that you have a good life
NTA
Send their Dad this link tomorrow because I can guarantee 99% of posters will say NTA
To the kids just send the same text to each of them basically saying :-
I happily completely funded your Mum in her last years including paying for her trips to see you all and with you all as she had no funds. It was due to us getting married that she had access to good health care through my work
I did this because I loved her and wanted her to be happy and well looked after
I will always have good memories of when you were children and I have amazing memories of your Mum and I wish you all happiness for the future
If any of them push back just be a bit blunter and say :-
As you are all adults who have chosen to remove me from your lives years ago I don’t consider there is any reason to keep in touch further and I certainly don’t have any responsibility to fund you but once again I reiterate my wish that you have a good life
You should have replied that you’d package up a stack of medical bills for each of them when you got home.
Honestly, there’s nothing you can do. The kids have written the narrative that their Rich Mother left all of her money to you, or you managed to somehow seize it as the surviving spouse despite her wishes, and that’s why they’re not getting an inheritance. Over the years, the story of how big this inheritance would have been will grow. They’ll likely be telling their grandchildren that they wouldn’t need to work if they hadn’t been screwed out of their inheritance by great-grandma’s “gay lover.”
