“Announcing how much money every guest gave over the microphone at the reception…”
Mandatory: not from the States/UK, bride and groom do all the planning including bachelor/bachelorette parties, there are no bridesmaids in traditional sense. Several years ago I agreed to be a MOH to a friend.
Realistically, I shouldn’t have agreed to it, but I was young, shy and a pushover, and she shouldn’t have asked because she had other best friends she was close to her whole life (whereas we were friends for a year at that point) but didn’t ask them because she always had drama with them.I said yes to being a MOH, but up until that point the last time I attended any wedding was when I was 7 years old so I knew nothing about it. So I asked her what help would she need from me, is there something I have to do.
And I kid you not, she just said: “You are not important here.” And just left it at that. So, I checked with my sister to make sure I don’t miss out on anything I have to do. Apparently, my only obligation is to buy a cake for the ceremony.
A week before their joint bachelor/bachelorette party, she complained how the best man told them that he won’t be able to give them a big amount of money as a gift, because times were tough for him.And she had the audacity to complain and say: “Can you imagine? He has a great job and he is being so cheap.” He wasn’t cheap, a best man is supposed to pay the priest for the ceremony and he couldn’t pay in full.Naturally, I felt bad because I come from a family that always struggled with money and I was moving for college so money was extra tight. And I knew I could only give her maybe like a half of what the best man could give.So, the party passes and she tells me that I have to get my make up done at her place by the same make up artist as she and her sisters are. We manage to get the times right so I could go in first, get my makeup done, get my uncle to drive me across town to get my hair done and then pick up her cake and deliver it to the venue.
The day of wedding comes, it is 10am and MUA is late more than 2 hours, which at that point I know I have to go to my hair appointment because there’s no way of knowing when the MUA would show up. I do all that I need to do and head back to her place because pre-ceremony is always held at bride’s place. And she yells at me in front of everyone telling me I was supposed to be with her the whole morning.Which, by the way, no, a MOH is never getting ready with the bride. And I tell her, how was I supposed to get hair, make up and cake delivered if I was supposed to be by her side the whole time. And she just ignores me.Comes the reception. So, I don’t drink. Ever. But, at the beginning of reception the whole bridal party is supposed to dance together and then make a toast with wine. I asked a, let’s call him a reception coordinator, if I could get something else because I don’t drink. He says, no problem we can do that easily.
And later she gets mad at me for that and tells me you better dance the whole night. At that point, I am tired, hungry and frustrated. But, the best part comes later in the evening. Traditional weddings used to get people to line up before the couple, bring their envelopes of money give them to reception coordinator to read on microphone telling everyone how much money each person gave the couple.And they decided to go that route even though it hasn’t been done in decades. At that point I began to sweat. I gave less than what a MOH should have and looking back. I was so stupid and should have just owned it, but I lied to the coordinator and said to him that I am giving more money than what I actually gave.The couple will know when they open it, but I just didn’t want people to give me side eyes at the wedding. The rest of the evening she complained that people didn’t give her that much money she was expecting.
At that point, I made up my mind that it was time to go home. It was 3 in the morning, I was exhausted and just wanted to be far way from her. Everyone complained about the public gift announcing, they are still married and in love, I am happy for them and not in contact with them since the wedding.
Here’s what top commenters had to say about this one:
fossacecak said:
She sounds absolutely insufferable. Big yikes.
sdogvscat said:
Wow! To announce the amount guests are giving to the couple is something I have never heard of! I am in US. I remember you writing you were just about to go to college. Financially, ouch!
Miss_Milk_Tea said:
Sounds like if all her longer friendships are “drama”, it’s coming from her.
TheWanderingMedic said:
I hope she’s not in your life anymore, she sounds like a nightmare.
Doyoulikeithere said:
Very tacky! I wouldn’t be in contact with them either. They might still be together but you don’t know if they’re in love. 🙂
Acqua_Tofana said:
Good riddance to your “friend!”
ennicarrz said:
I never understand the gift and money giving at weddings. You decide to throw a party for yourself and expect friends and family to give you money and presents? I don’t get it.
