“AITA for demanding that my daughter-in-law invite me to her mother-sibling outing?”
When the kids were much younger, I would take just my daughters out for some mother-daughter bonding time. It is something I have adored for a long time, and my daughters loved it too. We do it every couple of months, just a nice time to catch up.
The issue came when my DIL found out about these outings. About two years ago, she learned about them and made a huge deal about not being invited. It got to the point that if I didn’t invite her to daughter dates, my son would go no contact. I caved, and my relationship with my daughters took a hit.
Over time, they didn’t want to hang out with my DIL, saying they just wanted to catch up with me and not pretend that she is their actual sister. I also agree; I do not see her as a daughter. I didn’t raise her, and I don’t have that bond with her at all. This brings me to the present. I learned that she is going on a girls’ trip with her mom and sisters. I wasn’t invited.
Here are the top comments:
Sinvisigoth says:
NTA because it’s perfectly obvious you didn’t actually want to be invited on her trip, you just wanted her to stop inserting herself in your mother-daughter time. She sounds insufferable, well done.
NoTopic956 OP
Basically, it did work
BulbasaurRanch says:
Perfectly played. If the rules apply to you. They have to apply back to her. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and threw it back in her face like that. Now her and your son are upset? Oh well, doesn’t matter. They did this to themselves. She sounds like it’s a struggle to enjoy her presence. NTA.
Mary_Tagetes says:
NTA, your son seems pretty off on his choices. Blackmail isn’t a good way to force your wife to be included. His spouse seems crazy, if she did call you a “bitch” that’s really bad. Interesting family gatherings for you.
tawstwfg says: Total AH move, and brilliant! I think it’s hilarious!!! You made your point and you have your daughter time back. I don’t understand people who want to insert themselves where they don’t belong and then wonder why people feel a certain way about them. You nailed it!]
Excellent_Seesaw_566 The difference is she created the daughters get together and didn’t include the daughter in law. The daughter in law was part of a get together-her mother (not op) was in the lead of that get together. I thought that was pretty evident, but maybe not. There is a difference as a parent than as a daughter in these things.
NoTopic956 OP:
midnightsunofabitch Honestly, the real problem is OP’s son threatening to go NC every time his mother refuses to cater to his wife’s every whim. OP should call his bluff and see how long he lasts, cut off from the family with his beloved.
In the comments OP added this:
She wasn’t included since she isn’t my daughter not that she wasn’t family. It is a tradition between my daughters that I have raised and know for 30 years. If I didn’t think she was family she wouldn’t be invited to any family event but she is invite to all of them besides this one
Soon after my son informed me she is to be invited or he will cut me off.
One daughter, and my DIL personality do not mesh. The other they mesh better with but DIL has a habit of correcting people. Which drives her up the wall. She also will cut people off when they are talking and dominants most of the conversation
We can not talk about personal matters anymore since we are not comfortable with her there. Probably doesn’t help that going into these we are annoyed already since she forced it
