“Am I overreacting for kicking my boyfriend out for not buying me a sandwich?”
Honestly, this one is kind of as it sounds. Apologies for the wall of text. Me 20F and my boyfriend 21M been together for about 3 years. We live super close together so sleep together most nights and cook together every night (I cook and he washes up).
Technically we spend most days together like a couple who live together so we’re looking to move in together next year but honestly today’s kind of made me question that…
(You can kind of ignore this bit if you want as it’s just backstory) We both moved out of home about a year ago and I’ve cooked every night. It’s not as bad as it sounds because he washes up but I’ve mentioned I would love to be cooked for just even once a month.
It gets super tiring having to think of meals and plan the shopping by myself and the course I’m studying is objectively harder than his (not to put him down at all, I just picked something a little out of my depth), so the work load is rough and having to coordinate meals and lunches and accommodate his likes and dislikes in foods is actually pretty tiring.
On top of this I have a chronic illness that makes day to day tasks pretty tiring too.
ANYWAY THE MAIN POINT IS, this doesn’t bother me TOO much…
I have a pretty big exam tomorrow and did not have the energy to cook lunch so on my way back from a lecture I got us both these fancy sandwiches we like, as a surprise, I got him our favourite and tried a new one.
When we got back, I didn’t like mine and said I preferred the one we usually got, he wouldn’t try mine and I kind of thought he’d offer half of the one I got him seeing as I bought it… Idk.
On the way back from the gym, he stopped, got himself a meal deal and called me for my club card to get a discount and didn’t get anything for me? He literally didn’t even offer.
I mentioned the time before he went to the gym I fancied a chai latte, hoping he would pay like £4 as I payed £20 for dessert the night before and he was like yeah send me the money so I just said forget it.
IDK, it just seems thoughtless. I got really upset when he came back empty handed and he said I was draining the life out of him so I told him to leave. He’s now saying he’s not coming back. AIO???
UPDATE: Even though he has ready meals at his I bought him to eat when I am not there, he is now refusing to eat unless I cook and apologise for telling him to leave 😞.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Upset-Law3802
The sandwich was just the last straw.
Leading-Tone-863
NOR. there’s a tweet/meme that says when wife shops she buys the cookies he likes and the cookies she likes. She was sick one week so husband shopped. He only bought the cookies he likes. She left him. I agree.
Constant-Gate-2730 (OP)
Yeah honestly, the shopping is actually one of my biggest issues as picking dinners he likes (no fish, no sweet potato, no broccoli etc) is actually really difficult considering they’re like 3 of my fav foods.
I always get myself and him little treats and lunches on the shopping and I know if I left it up to him, not only would he not get me lunches and sweet treats, he would also not get them for himself which is like such added stress.
No-Distance-9401
He is a child and wont grow up anytime soon so if you want an equal partner and not to be the bangmaid for the next decade then you should leave. The lack of consideration for you is astounding and all of it screams run.
no_idea_wtfffff
NOR, honestly if your relationship gets to the point where your SO is saying phrases like, “You’re draining the life out of me”, AFTER not even thinking about you when he went to go get food…it’s over, girly. I’m sorry.
AggressiveOsmosis
You’re dating a selfish little witch who is a man child and doesn’t want to deal with your emotions. Break up with him, he is a loser and not worthy of you.
Weekly-Eagle-4246
NOR, These are little things he is doing and has carried on doing, “the minimum” but knowing how you are and a big test coming up, he does know how you feel, yet he puts him self first, why? Has he never cooked you a meal in all the time you have been together?
And why only get himself anything while knowing you have had nothing and/or the sandwich, if you liked it or not, commonsense says “share” but no he does not, he knows you will now go without and be hungry, yeah sound like a right good relationship you are in, even if you cook (every meal) and he washes up, is that it?
I know and you already know what you are going to do, you just need to do what is right for you, after all mental health is no joke, depression can set in quicker than you realise, and he will probably say, it’s your big test or your just tired, and so on. No one can decide for you, but we both know this is more than just about a ‘sandwich’.
Constant-Gate-2730 (OP)
Yeah no he’s not ever cooked for me. He says he doesn’t enjoy it which I guess makes sense a bit.
Silvaria928
Not everyone enjoys cooking but everyone has to eat. It sounds like he wants a live-in chef. NOR. I couldn’t live with someone like that because ironically, it would drain the life out of me.
Several days later, the OP returned with an update.
Sorry it’s taken so long, I decided to come back to my parents home and spend some time away from him, I’m feeling pretty shaken up and he’s been harassing me to apologise.
Thank you for all of your sweet messages, I guess I kind of didn’t realise some people had partners who did so much for them – so heartwarming hearing all of your stories. If anything else happens I will update you all again.
So, what do you think of this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?
