“I can’t sleep and I just need to write it and tell someone…”
I had an affair with an older married man for 2.5 years and we were madly in love with each other. I was 28 at the time and he was 48, we met by accident on an app. We exchanged handles and the rest was history. I’ve never met anyone like him in my life.He made me feel seen but he also challenged me. He made me see life in a bigger way and to be less close minded. He was my best friend, my person and that’s the hardest part.We trusted each other, we respected each other’s real lives, we cheered on each other’s real lives from afar. We are friends on social media and know everything about each other’s real lives and that’s what made it so special. We hid nothing from each other.We met up a couple of times as we did “long distance” with each other. He went through a divorce and lost his mom.. and he changed…I miss him. We still talk here and there as friends…but it will never be what it was. I miss the days of him telling me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am. The days where we talked about the sky being blue and why haha.
As I look for something new, I’m scared that I’ve had the best possible Affair Partner relationship and nothing else will compare. I don’t want it to be that way… but I’ve only found a couple of people that have come close… and they usually disappear because they can’t handle something like this…Affairs are special, and a type of relationship you won’t find anywhere else. I hope to find another one day.. that makes me feel the way he did…just needed to vent before bed because it’s what I’m thinking about.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
[deleted] said:
Unfortunately I am one on the other side. I’m in 40s and I’d say such a relationship was a fatal attraction for us both. Nothing felt good afterwards. And yes I had to kill it off for her own good. The age difference would leave without anything and she doesn’t even know how much she meant to me.
[deleted] said:
I’ve had a similar experience. It was so beautiful while it was there. Just a bitter sweet memory now.
Fair_Lychee4666 said:
Also met my exAP on an app. We talk here and there, but the months where we actually were having the affair were so intense, that the nice words afterwards don’t cut it. Would love to have that again, but haven’t had time to go on that app in forever.
tonytsunami said:
Based just on my own experience, I’d say there will never be another one like him. But there also will never be another one like the next one. And so forth with any affair partners who lasted for a while. Good luck in your search. I’d say you have good odds.
