“AITA for leaving because my sister-in-law hid my shoes?”
My SIL has three little ones, and her husband (my step brother) had to leave the country for work for a few months. I offered to stay so I could help her out where needed, and she happily accepted. I live across town so not THAT far.I was there for 3 days when my SIL commented on me going on daily walks. I have taken a daily walk of at least a mile since October 2018. Yes, even with a cold, yes, even in cold weather, yes to all of it. On nice days the walk is usually 4 miles. At my SIL’s, I started taking a path that was about two miles.I asked if she wanted me to watch the kids while she got some exercise and she scoffed and said she was too busy, but it must be nice. I was a little puzzled since I was offering to help. But the comments kept coming. She kept trying to poke holes. “But it’s not REALLY a mile every day right?” and “What would you do if you broke your foot? Would you get anxious if you couldn’t take a walk?”
Then one morning I couldn’t find my shoes. My SIL woke up an hour later, I was eating breakfast with the kids, and I asked her. She told me to go check the back door, and when I’d gotten back, she pointed at them by the door and said I must have missed them. I took my walk after telling her that her joke wasn’t funny.She was annoyed when I got back and told me that she thinks I need to see a therapist over my anxiety/obsession. I told her that I do have a therapist, and she said I clearly need a new one because this one isn’t helping. I asked her point blank why does it bother her so much if I want to take a walk?She said I was supposed to be there to help her with the kids and I’m disappearing for hours at a time. I told her that my walks take about 30 minutes, and I’m doing it while they have down time.
I put my shoes in the guest room with the rest of my things and they were gone the next morning. I just said f it and packed my things and left. My SIL called me when I was on my way home and said I was overreacting and being childish and this is why I am single and alone.I told her that I don’t play these stupid games and that I would still pick up the girls and stay until she got home from work but that she’s on her own for everything else. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
I_Suggest_Therapy said:
NTA. It is most certainly your SIL who needs a therapist. Something about your wellness routine is triggering her in some way. It is weird and unhealthy.
SisterTulips said:
Your SIL is jealous of your self-care, and it’s pathetic. Now she’s realized she’s taken it too far, she looks like a lunatic, and she has no way to reasonably explain this to your stepbrother, you know, because what she did was nuts. Then she double-downed. I’m impressed you’re still willing to interact with her at all. If she acts out-of-line anymore, disappear until stepbrother returns.
Also, I’d contact him now and very calmly let him know what’s up. Be sure to tell him she said: a. you need therapy for daily walks b. you are childish c. leaving because your things get hidden are why you’re “single and alone.” What’s she going to do? Explain how she lost a reliable live-in and then at least every workday babysitter because she’s a controlling loon? NTA.
maybe-an-ai said:
NTA. “My SIL called me when I was on my way home and said I was overreacting and being childish and this is why I am single and alone.” And then you told her to figure everything out herself because as a child it wouldn’t be safe for you to watch her kids at all. Right? She can pay a baby sitter. It’s her and your step brothers responsibility not yours.
MikeTalonNYC said:
NTA. Sounds like your SIL decided that *she* doesn’t like your walks. That’s her problem to deal with, not yours.
Jackonelli said:
NTA. It’s a bit amusing that she tells you to speak to see a therapist, when daily exercise and fresh air are actually good for mental health. Besides, it’s not like you are away for hours anyway, a short walk is normal and a part of everyday life.
Grymflyk said:
You are my hero, you took action that was proportional to the offense. She is the one that needs to see a therapist to understand why she is so intolerant of other people’s routine. She also needs to learn that her ways and opinions do not apply to everyone around her.
Just because she is not doing anything to take care of herself, it doesn’t mean that she gets to make decisions for others health. NTA, don’t go back, let her sleep in the bed she made.
Anxious_Island_404 said:
NTA. I have a coworker who is 78 (she looks like she in her 50s no joke) and she runs or walks 5 miles almost everyday. Sometimes it’s outside and sometimes it on a treadmill. She does it cause she likes it.
Not because she’s obsessed or anything. It’s because she likes it and because it makes her feel good. You should get the kids to go on walks with you and really piss off SIL
