When I got divorced my parents tried to get me not to go through with it. My ex Sarah is the daughter of their best friends. We had two kids that my parents adore. My parents tried everything to make me stay in that marriage. Sarah fought me on everything.I finally managed to escape and got what I consider to be a fair deal. No spousal support or child support. She kept the house and we split our other assets. My parents said I was evil. They actually called me evil for walking away from a cheater and two kids that weren’t biologically mine.I moved cities for my mental health. I started over. It sucked that I did this without support from my family. My parents pretty much poisoned my extended family against me. I have a job that I can do from anywhere so I didn’t even have to switch employers.My parents insisted on sending me pictures of the kids so eventually I completely cut them off. I wasn’t interested. I am still not interested now. Obviously they chose to stay in their lives so I needed them out of mine. It took months of blocking every attempt for them to catch a clue.I remarried two years after my divorce. My wife and I just had our first child. I don’t know how, but my parents found out. They contacted me through a new phone number.They said that they wanted to meet their grandson. I said they already had two grandchildren and to leave my son out of their lives. They said they deserved to be in his life. I said no and that if I had to get a lawyer involved I would.I have no idea what is going on with Sarah and the kids. I don’t care. I do know that for at least six months after the divorce they were still heavily involved with her and the kids.My wife has my back and her family understands my past. I never liked to them about why I am out of contact with my family and my ex. Am I wrong for keeping them away from their first biological grandchild after they chose nonbiological one over me?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
elems
“Remember when you choose my cheating and lying ex over me? Now I’m choosing to live my life without you. Don’t call me again”. NTA.
critical-drinking
“We deserve” in the context you’ve (accurately) described is exactly what pisses me off the most in these stories. NTA.
Truebeliever-14
I can understand why your parents wanted to stay in contact with the kids they had believed were their grandchildren but calling you evil for divorcing your cheating ex and leaving HER children was ridiculous. I would not want them in my life, the stress and bad memories aren’t worth it. They made the choice, they get to live with it.
Chaoticgood790
Don’t open the door to them. As of now they can’t do anything about grandparents rights bc you have no contact with them. Do not give them any wiggle room. NTA.
Bellatrix_dog
NTA…and am the only one think the ex cut off the grandparents after they couldnt make op stay?
henningknows
How old are your ex wife’s kids?
EngineNo9031 (OP)
Five and six now.
henningknows
When did you find out They aren’t yours?
EngineNo9031 (OP)
When they were one and two.
henningknows
Ok. I would have done the same thing. They won’t remember you and that is best for them and for you.
JameEagan
That was all the context I needed. Definitely not the AH. I was concerned for the children thinking their dad basically abandoned them, but they won’t even remember you so that’s a moot point.’
Prudii_Skirata
NTA. The message to them should be a simple:
“You both purchased a daughter and two fake grandkids for the sticker price of your actual blood relatives. Your buyer’s remorse is neither my fault, nor my problem. All sales are final.”
Puppet007
NTA 100%. So wait, your ex cheated on you, passed both of her children as yours, kept the affair partner in the children’s lives, and your parents called YOU evil?!
Unless your extended family are religious, there’s no way any sane person would go after you if they knew that you were not only cheated on but also had paternity fraud committed against you. Your parents most likely twisted the story and probably added an extra lie or two.
But document everything since they now know your new number and your son’s existence, they could also harass your wife & her family as well to pressure you. They might even sick your extended family onto you as well.
enutz777
NTA. Do not trust them. It will only be a matter of time before they are whispering in your kid’s ear about getting to meet his siblings. They wanted something and didn’t give a care how it impacted you. They will forever have to justify that decision to themselves. Huge chance they try to do that by trying to get the kids together.
They’re narcissists and you were a character in their life movie. They are bound to try and manipulate things to make themselves the protagonists again. I can guarantee they have said at some point since they found out what’s shame it is they won’t get to grow up knowing their (non)sibling.
Getting the kids together and having a happy relationship would make them the good guys again in their heads. Without thorough proof that they have completely ended all relationships with your former in laws, I would never allow them around my kid.
-father of 4 that had a long journey from low to no contact with narcissistic parents. Narcissists lives are a movie and they have an insatiable desire to manipulate themselves into the role of hero.
