AITA for thinking my landlord (uncle) is unfair for kicking me out for having my boyfriend over?
Sorry this is long, but there’s a lot of context.
I (22F) and my brother (19M) rent a house from our uncle. It’s just the two of us on the lease. Our uncle does NOT live with us.
The same day we signed the lease, our uncle told us that another woman would be living with us “to keep an eye on us.” This was not discussed beforehand. She moved some stuff in but never actually slept there. Eventually, her daughter started living there instead, without my uncle knowing. As far as he knows, the original woman lived there the whole time.
While the daughter lived there, she constantly ate the food my brother and I bought with our own money and my EBT. She never bought groceries and kept eating our food even after we told her not to. Sometimes the mother would come over and eat our food too.
A few weeks later, my uncle told me he was kicking the woman out because she couldn’t pay rent. After that, I told him the truth about how her daughter had been living there instead. I didn’t say anything until I knew they were already getting kicked out. When we moved in, my uncle said we were NOT allowed to have friends over, no boyfriends or girlfriends. I admit I broke that rule and had my boyfriend over sometimes. The woman living there knew and didn’t care at all, she actually liked him. My brother also had his girlfriend over. After the woman and her daughter were kicked out, they told my uncle that I had my boyfriend over. They did NOT mention my brother having his girlfriend over. Now my uncle is kicking me out too, but not my brother. I know I technically broke a rule, but it feels unfair that only I’m being punished, especially since we’re both adults paying rent. My uncle’s reasoning is that he doesn’t believe in sex before marriage, which is his religious belief, not mine. I don’t really have anywhere else to go except renting a room or moving in with my boyfriend, but we’ve only been dating 10 months and I don’t feel ready for that. My brother is basically my only close family member and friend, and it hurts that I’m being forced out while he gets to stay. I feel sad, betrayed, and confused. I know I messed up, but this whole situation feels unreasonable and targeted. So… AITA for thinking this is unfair and overreacting?
EDIT: I live in California, San Bernardino County, and yes, it does say in the lease, absolutely no one is allowed over, and our mother and other brother have to leave by 9pm. As far as my brother who I live with… idk I would never snitch on him or anything, I’d rather just keep things to myself rather than risk him getting kicked out. I think he feels overwhelmed by this and probably doesn’t really know what to do, as to why he hasn’t done or said anything to my uncle regarding all of this. I have also been looking up tenant rights in my area and it says “California tenants have a right to quiet enjoyment of the rental. That includes having reasonable guests, including romantic partners.”
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA but you absolutely need to look up the tenant laws where you live. If your lease says you and your brother rent the entire house, he can’t just move someone else in. If your lease doesn’t prohibit overnight guests, he can’t do that either.
Why you need to look up your rights – your uncle may not be allowed to prohibit overnight guests, he may not be allowed to make rules based on his religious beliefs. And, anything he puts in the lease that’s against the law is generally unenforceable. A lease is a contract, your uncle can’t just change the terms unilaterally after the lease is signed, so you should also be aware of the proper process to amend a lease.
If you have a lease, he also may not be able to kick you out without going through the eviction process. I’d confirm what your rights are before you leave, you should look to see whether there are any tenant advocacy groups in your area, or if you’re in school whether they offer any services for off-campus students. Places like that tend to offer free guidance and resources. (Edit to clarify – if you find he has grounds to evict you, leave. Evictions are a terrible thing to have on record and will make it harder to find a place to live.)
Good luck! I’ve dealt with shady landlords around your age, and I’ve also rented from family. It’s never easy, but you’ll learn a LOT that will protect you in the future.
Key_Seat_9044 said:
NTA.
1)You’re a grown ass adult.
2)He doesn’t have the right to force his beliefs on anyone.
3)Your personal life is none of his business.
4)You’re literally PAYING him. As long as you didn’t damage the property or do something actually bad I don’t see him legally being able to kick you out.
