“My wife (31F) asked me (34M) to choose between my mom (55F) and her and I think I am going to divorce her.”
A little background: my mum and dad were both orphans, my dad passed two weeks before I was born, my mum didn’t really have a support system. So we were just the two of us. I never lacked anything because my mother worked all her life to give me the life I have today and didn’t even have time for herself to start a new life again.
She did all the little jobs possible so that we didn’t miss anything. She deprived herself of food to give me food, I had very good clothes while she had none. I saw her make sacrifices again and again and always with a smile, frankly I always thought she was an angel dressed in a human body. The only time she yelled at me was when I was 16 when I saw her getting sick and working at the same time.
I wanted to help her by finding a job, but she was angry and told me it was not my job to take care of her and it was up to her to take care of me, she wanted me to get really good grades to get into the best universities it’s the only way I can protect myself when she can’t anymore.
Even at university she didn’t want me to work, I had to be focused on my studies, but she wanted me to volunteer “so that I could be an adult who could do something with his hands”. I met my wife there while both of us were volunteered. My wife is a good person, but she was never close to her parents or her siblings.
Yet she adored my mother since she met her, there were times when I thought she loved my mother more than she loved me and we laughed about it, deep down, I think she was looking for the bond between mother and daughter that she did not have from her mother.
When I finished my studies, I found a job, we move in together, but she wasn’t comfortable that I call my mom everyday (remind you those were 10 – 15 minutes call) but eventually she stop bring It on.
Two years later, I bought a house for my mother, because we never had a house in our name, we lived from apartment to apartment, so for all the sacrifices she made it was for me the least of it and it was non-negotiable, that’s where the problems started with my wife (then GF).
She wanted me to think about us first, I told her my dream had always been to buy my mom a house since I was little and that’s what I had to do. But she complained about it to my mom. My mom didn’t even knew I bought a house for her as it was supposed to be a surprise for her birthday.
She was uncomfortable of receiving the house because of my wife and told me that wasn’t necessary that we could use it for us when we get married. I was furious, I told my mother that the house was for her that she could do with it whatever she wanted but it was time for her to think about herself first.
Our couple survived that, we got married, and then we had our own house. Our life was going well until two months ago when my mother fell ill, I wanted her to come and live with us so that I could take care of her, but my wife didn’t want to, I then decided to rent an apartment with my own money right next to our house so that I could be close to her and go there to take care of her.
But even that idea didn’t sit well with my wife. Me and my wife don’t have children yet, we both work, I usually come home at 6 p.m., but since my mother is sick, I go to see her and come home at 8 p.m. On weekends, I see her for 1 or 2 hours and the rest of the time I spend it with my wife. We go on date, I always accompany her in her hobbies even though she never went to mine.
Two days ago, she told me that she thought about it and she thinks I prioritize my mother too much. She told me that I had to choose between my mother and the life I want to build with her. The truth is that I never made her feel that way. We both work, but I’m the one who cooks, and I pay a person to do the housework.
I make sure I do the dishes she likes, she didn’t even know what I like to eat because I never complain. I run her baths, give her massages, flowers, I write her poems that I hide somewhere in the house for her to find out, we go on a trip one weekend a month.
I earn much more money than her, I told her to keep her money for herself and I take care of all the bills even hers, I always make sure to listen to her and consider her opinion, and I think I am easy going because I can change my mind to accommodate hers, but I realize that she tries to completely dominate me and the only subject where I don’t give her a choice is my relationship with my mother.
So there, I’m going to have a talk with her and put some very clear boundaries, if she doesn’t want to, well, we’re going to divorce. Just want it off my chest.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
AveryAverina wrote:
If you’re not neglecting your relationship with your wife and still pulling your weight in the house I don’t see the problem here. You can’t just simply abandon your own mother while she’s sick. What exactly does she want from you?
OP responded:
Well, I ask the same question but she can’t answer, she said she feel that way. I think she does a lot of projecting of her own relationship with her mother. Her mother is very toxic and abusive. I always try to be there for her listening to her, being her support system but any time I am listening her, she end up telling me I can’t even understand her, because I have the perfect mother.
KatieLouis wrote:
Your mother gave up everything to give you a good life. If you abandon her for your wife, you will always regret it. Take care of your mom, and know that you are doing the right thing. If your wife decides to leave you, then she isn’t the right kind of woman for a man like you. I hope your mom gets better soon!
OP responded:
It never crossed my mind to abandon her for anyone. That make me sick just to think about it. So I will take care of her until she gets better. She doesn’t even need me when she is well haha, because she is so independent and have her own life. Thank you for your kind words.
Special8043 wrote:
Have you guys done therapy? Because maybe that can pinpoint what is her issue since she can’t put into words. It can’t be everything or maybe it is but someone looking in may give the answers. Good luck.
OP responded:
We didn’t but I am considering it right now. Thank you!
scoobydoob wrote:
You were blessed with an amazing mother, and you’re not going to regret being there for her, I promise you that. My fiancé has a s****y, abusive mom that we can’t really be close with, but if she was even half decent, I’d support him taking care of her, and I’d also help. That’s family, that’s love.
If all you wrote is true, I do think your wife is being incredibly selfish. If someone ever tried to limit my time with my ill mother, I’d shut them down in a heartbeat & tell them they’re free to pack up & leave.
OP responded:
Thanks for your kind words. Yeah I know I am blessed and honestly my mother never ask for anything, never push on anything, she is just happy for me and my wife. She don’t even know what my wife think she would be very hurt as she love her.
My wife once said she was jealous of my relationship with my mom as she never experience a decent one with her own mother. But I don’t see why, If I ask what am I doing wrong, to give me exemple so I can understand her, she have hard time to find something other than I should of bought a house for us first and she didn’t get over that yet.
Her mother is a**sive, but she won’t stop trying to beg her to be a good mother since she knew my mother. My heart hurt each time her mom disappointed her. I love her but I don’t want to deal with it anymore, I am in so much stress right now I need support, she doesn’t even have to help me, but she have to respect the relationship I have with my mom and my decision to take care of her in her time of need.
_Brightstar wrote:
The way you paint your relationship and your wife, it just feels very one-sided to me. I wonder what story your wife would tell. Because you haven’t listed any positive thing your wife brings to the table, while praising yourself to the heavens. It feels quite lopsided.
If that’s true, then you have all the reason to divorce her.
PS: you do say that you never made her feel that way, but that isn’t up to you. All you could say is that you tried to not make her feel that way by doing xyz.
OP responded:
Yeah you’re right! In my post, I didn’t do justice to my wife because I was upset and overwelmed when I was writing it. But my wife is a wonderful human being, and was with me even before I have money.
And I didn’t praise myself, at least I didn’t want to sound like that, I was trying to make a point that I wasn’t neglecting her by giving exemples. And that’s right too, what I can say is I try to not make her feel that way.
After receiving lots of support, OP shared an update:
Hi guys, I keep getting messages asking me for an update, I wanted to do it sooner but couldn’t spare time to do it properly. Before confronting my wife I had time to reflect, and I came to the conclusion that I will never again let anyone in my life dictate the relationship I should have with my mother or the time I should dedicate to her.
So I decided to answer the ultimatum, but first I wanted to know if there was another reason why she gave me this ultimatum, she replied that nope. I asked her apart from what she blamed me for was there something she wanted to tell me but couldn’t tell me. She said there was nothing and asked me to come to the point so I told her I wanted a divorce.
She remained frozen, I think she was shocked because she wasn’t talking, she was just staring at me. I tell her everything that was on my mind, that our values are too different, I was going through the worst moment of my life, my mother was sick, we did several tests with her, we still don’t know what she’s suffering from, we don’t know her family medical history because she was an orphan.
It makes me anxious to know that overnight I could find myself alone in the world, yes alone in the world because in these difficult times, I all I needed was her support but if my own wife thinks that I should give less attention to my mother who is sick and who needs me more than ever, it’s time to go to our separate way.
She still didn’t say anything so I told her I’m going to a hotel for now and we’ll discuss later how we’re going to separate. I took some of my things and left. The next day when I went to see my mother.
She figured out something wasn’t right but I was not going to tell her I was separating from my wife because she could not bear our relationship, especially since she was sick like that, I didn’t want to add more torment to her.
I never discuss my marriage issues with my mother anyway, so she does not know our problems and honestly, she adores my wife too much, and my wife behaves as if she was her own mother so I was not going tell her what she was thinking behind her back.
My mom ends up telling me that my wife didn’t come by that day, yes, my wife who asks me to reduce my contact with my mother was seing her every day and I never asked her to do anything for my mother. She calls my mother “mom.”
When she gets sick, she used to go to my mother so she will take care of her, it used to hurt me because it’s as if I couldn’t take care of her, but she said that this was not the same the attentions of a mother are different. I told myself that it was her way of creating a mother-daughter bond that she never had and I understood her.
She said her mother used to tell her that she was not supposed to be born, that she was an accident that she almost terminated her and regrets not doing it. Only a monster could say that to her child. So I never said anything whenever she wanted my mother’s attention, besides, I received enough love to share with whoever wanted.
My mother, after I left home to study became a foster mom for children. She always did until two years ago. I have always loved each of the children with whom I still keep in touch and whom I consider to be my siblings. Once a year, we all went on vacation together for a week, the children, my mother, and my wife.
I generally take two months of vacation, of which six weeks I devoted to my wife. But the two weeks that I devote to my mother and the children, it was too much for my wife. Anyway, I’m rambling, so when my mom told me she didn’t come to see her that day, I went back home because I was worried, I found her in the bathroom with her clothes and red eyes like she was crying all along.
Seeing her like that was unbearable, I helped her out, this woman who has so much pride, collapsed in front of me with lot of crying I don’t know if it was an hour or two, but she kept crying, calm down crying again, I just stayed silent.
She ended up telling me that deep down she never wanted me to be involved any less in my mother’s life, she was always jealous of our relationship she was always jealous of the attention my mother gave to the other children. She knows that it wasn’t rational but she couldn’t help constantly striving to be number one in my mother’s heart.
It was kind of a competition for her, so when I wanted to take care of my mom she didn’t want me to be the one taking care of her. I was honestly furious without saying anything of course, but I wondered if she was a psychopath or something?
We are talking about a person who is seriously ill and she is thinking about her damn competition even if it means sabotaging the relationship I have with my mother and putting us in a situation where I wanted to divorce her.
She told me that she was very jealous of me and that she would have liked to be in my place, if she had to choose she would have even chosen to be my mother’s child rather than my wife even if I was the love of her life and the only man she ever known. She also told me that even if the world falls apart around me, I will remain stoic.
That I live as if I don’t need anyone and that I give everything to others but I don’t know how to let others reach me and she never managed to get there, only my mother could get there. At that moment, I did not know what else to say, I was hooked on this idea of competition so that I did not immediately grasp the scope of these words.
But I still listened to her to the end. I put her to bed until she fell asleep, then I went to sleep in another room. In the morning, she was acting like anything happened she was being herself she said I don’t have to pity. I told her It was out of love she was still my wife. She left to work and I do the same but decided to stay at the hotel from the time being.
During that time, I wondered what I could have made the saying act so that she could think about that. Deep down I think she’s right, it’s a defense mechanism I’ve had since childhood, I’ve never stayed in one place longer to make friends.
It was heartbreaking, every time we have to move between my 5 and my 15 years I have moved more than fifty times, from apartment to apartment, from hotel room to hotel room, and since then, I think I have always lived my relationships like a squat. I never unpacked and settled in because I knew at any moment I could be fired. But I thought that with my wife I acted differently, but you have to believe not.
During that time, I wondered what I could have done or said to make her feel like that. Deep down I think she’s right, it’s a defense mechanism I’ve had since childhood. I’ve never stayed in one place longer to make friends.
It was heartbreaking to every time we have to move between 5 to my 15 I have moved more than fifty times, from apartment to apartment, from hotel room to hotel room, and since then I think I have always lived my relationships like a squat. I never unpacked and settled in because I knew at any moment I could be kicked out. But I thought with my wife I acted differently, but I guess not.
So I thought maybe we didn’t need to go that far, what we needed wasn’t divorce but therapy. Then this happened. a little over a week after our discussion, I was called from the hospital. my wife had been hospitalized, she apparently did not feel well. I went to visit her, but she didn’t want to see me.
If you see the eyes I saw, I’ve never seen so much hate in just two eyes. I told her besties so she can have her system support because she didn’t want me there. I told my mom, she asked me what I had done to my wife so that she ended up in the hospital, and that I should not stress a woman who was PREGNANT. I said what?
She told me my wife told her and asked her to keep it a secret because she wanted to tell me herself when she was ready. I don’t know what was going through my head, between anger that it was my mother who told me, or happiness at having to be a dad for the first time and total confusion at the surreal situation.
I went to my wife and told her I knew, but she looked at me again angrily and told me she had lost the baby and it was my fault. In an instant, I just get the news my wife was pregnant but kept it from me. That I was going to be a dad, and that we lost the baby. That she was accusing me of having caused something that I did not even know.
She asked me to leave and I left. I always wanted children, very early on. My wife wanted to put her career first, I understood and accepted, I’ve been trying to convince her for years but without success, now she gets pregnant, she doesn’t tell me anything, she talks to my mother about it, and she says I caused her miscarriage.
Since then, she says she didn’t tell me anything because she wanted to first confirm if I could deal with all the responsibilities I give myself and raise a child at the same time. I don’t understand her, and I admit since then I have a fierce hatred against her. I don’t know how to look at her without having anger on me and I don’t want to hurt her with my words, I take care of her at home but we don’t talk to each other.
I’m not going to stay with her, it’s not possible. I started a session with a psychologist, he told me that patience was my best weapon, that I shouldn’t make a permanent decision on emotions that could be temporary and that I should take time to see if there were things to salvage.
Here is where I am. I don’t know if I’ll do another update, I took days off to be there for my wife and for my mother but I’m feeling pretty depressed and I just want to get away from all this bullshit right now. Thank you in any case for giving me your point on your first post, for your support or your critics.
Here’s what people had to say to OP’s update:
DZHMM wrote:
Honestly OP, just stop. It is NOT your responsibility to heal your wife. Her issues with her competition/ jealousy are hers. HERS. You did nothing wrong there. at all. Don’t take that blame, she is a grown as woman and should work to resolve her issues. Her blaming u for the miscarriage is also unjustified. period.
You remind me a bit of myself, a caretaker. But it is not fair for you to try and take on the emotions of everyone else. Your wife’s shortcomings don’t have to be your responsibility. Best case, you guys get therapy and if you still love eachother, make it work. However, please recognize ur wife has to be the one to do her own healing and trauma work NOT YOU.
There is nothing u can do to resolve this. she has to do it on her own. And with that being said, it is not fair for her to put that on you as if you did anything wrong. You seem to have been a great son, and partner. Stop dealing with madness. Like my therapist told me, stop putting other people’s emotions before your own.
mashitupproperly wrote:
I honestly feel bad for both of you. Your wife obviously has really serious trauma from her parents. Do you think you could forgive her if she got herself therapy and worked through these issues?
Edit: I only say this because she was pregnant and her hormones were obviously clouding her judgement and I feel like she acted rashly bc her issues plus the hormones made it so she couldn’t keep everything in check / hidden the way she did before.
I don’t blame you if you cannot, but if she’s willing to face her issues head on and become a better person and wife then there MIGHT be something to save. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth finding out.
slutpanic wrote:
You know there is so much going on here. I’m glad that you are talking to a therapist. I know most people when having to choose between two family members they don’t want to make a choice like that. Things might have been different if you wife could have focused on the real issues and communicated them well.
Of course, you would have had to be in the mood to listen and receive her words. It sounds to me like you wife and your mother get along, but she was worried about what would happen if you both had to juggle a pregnancy and baby and your mother’s ill health.
That is a lot of stress for all of you. It might be a good idea to talk to your mother’s doctor about next steps and what kind of help you two can get from the healthcare system.
RatherNotSayPA wrote:
Honestly, after reading your posts, I think you really need space and time to go through your emotions and thoughts. A lot of very stressful scenarios have occures one after the other. Emotions are very, very high.
Your wife’s behaviours sound…messy.
There’s clearly some issues around attachment and relationships, and I cant say if your own thinking/behaviour in relationships is appropriate either as theres no unbiased log of the situation. But one thing is clear: do you guys even have trust or truly communicate yourselves to one another?
She didn’t explain her feelings of jealousy, feels like shes in some form of competition for affection with you and family plus hid a pregnancy from you. You admit you keep people at arm’s length and you don’t vocalise your desires/needs.
To me, that sounds like you don’t trust each other or really talk to the person who is meant to be your partner-in-life. Summary: There’s a lot of hostility between you so you need space to think. Then you need to decide if you can really make it work after such a breakdown in trust and communication.
Months later, OP shared another update:
Hi folks! It’s been awhile. I didn’t intend to post again after my last one, but even though it’s been months, I still get support and people asking me where I am in my life. So I think I owe you at least one last update because your comments and DMs helped me a lot during a time I needed it the most. I don’t know if it’s going to be long or not, but let’s go.
About my wife. After she had a miscarriage (yes she was definitely pregnant), I had to take care of her because she couldn’t do it on her own. After what happened, I had nothing but anger and hatred in me, but as I said last time if something is fragile enough to break, you have no choice but to treat it gently. I didn’t want her to break, I didn’t want to leave her in the worst time of her life. So I did my duty as a husband.
Despite everything, her mental state was getting worse, she thought she was still pregnant and she was talking to herself. One night, she was delirious, mistaking me for her father and thinking that I was going to hurt her. I had to call the emergency room then after examination a psychatrist advised me to have her hospitalized. That’s what I did. She spent 6 weeks there.
She was diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder. Doctors suspect delusional disorder too. And they also suspect that she was heavily abused as a child, but that’s all they were allowed to tell me. She didn’t want to see anyone, especially her family.
She suggested that we communicate through letters and every time I went there, I took her letter, then the next day I drop mine. It’s crazy, I have the impression that in 2 months, I got to know her better than the ten years I spent by her side. That reminded me how a good person she use to be despite her flaws.
She used to travel to participate in the construction of schools, wells, anything that can help people who lived in precariousness. She didn’t just give money, she helped out with her own hands. She’s the type to help a foreigner who doesn’t speak the language catch his train until she misses her own train. Honestly, she was like a goldmine with lots of resources and kindness in her.
Although we had money, we used to enjoy taking public transport to remember the time when we were penniless and enjoy life just because having each other were enough. We would travel without taking money and challenge each other to know how far we will get. that was the best moment of our lives. We were very close and in love. We thought nothing.
Could break us, what has changed since then? We tried to figured out in the letters we give each other. We talk about many things, I won’t go into details. She own up her mistakes and I own up mine. She takes full responsibility of the consequences of her actions. She apologized for how she treated me and know that the only possible outcome is that we divorce. She need to heal and work on herself.
She said she has a long way to go and it wasn’t fair for me. She said that given her condition, I wasn’t going to talk to her about a divorce. She had to do it herself. There are some battles she needs to fight on her own, otherwise she will never be the best version she could be. She doesn’t know how long it’s going to take, but if she gets there and I haven’t move on, then she’ll be happy to start again with me.
I’ve always lived with the idea of fixing broken things rather than throwing them away. But that doesn’t work with humans. You can’t fix someone unless they want to be fixed. And I wouldn’t have had the strength to fix someone because I’m putting all my remaining energy into trying to fix myself.
If my wife hadn’t made the decision she made, I myself would have proposed a divorce. Paradoxically, it was because she made the decision she made that I saw that there was hope for us. I then offered her a separation rather than a divorce.
And a year from now, if we still want to get divorced, we’ll get divorced, if we trust that we could be in a healthy relationship, then we’ll get to know each other again, communicate and try to do things differently. She agreed and said that was what she hoped.
When she got out of the hospital, she didn’t want us to meet because if we saw each other, she wouldn’t have had the strength to keep her resolutions. For my part, I had not yet let go all the negative feelings following the events that happened before her hospitalization, so in the end it was best for both of us. We chose to continue to send each other letters and that’s fine with me for now.
She was able to see my mother. She wrote me what my mother told her. That she will always be a mother figure to her, despite the bad decisions she made, that she didn’t have to compete for her love because she already had it. And that’s one thing that will never change.
She asked me if I was okay with her being in touch with my mother, I told her it was up to them, she didn’t need my consent. However, she was not likely going to see my mother too often because I had decided to go in an other country for my mother so she could benefit from one of the best hospitals in the world, which is in Europe.
About me: I’ve been in Germany for almost 1 month now (We are from France), and And I’m learning to delegate work. It’s a resolution I made during my therapy. I needed therapy and it was especially you guys who convinced me, I will always be grateful to you.
The therapy sessions were so heavy and tiring that I didn’t have the strength to do much after leaving my therapists’ room but it gets better over time. I am currently working remotely, I go back to France once a week to settle things at work and continue my therapy sessions because I don’t want to change therapists.
I manage to devote time only to myself, which is actually good. One of my foster brothers wanted to come with us to Germany since he manages to work remotely too, he is a great help. In short, I’m getting better and better.
About my mom
This is probably the most difficult subject to discuss. And I admit that I don’t really want to talk about it, but I also think that talking about it here is good practice to be able to talk about it in my life.
A few years ago, we lived from apartment to apartment, hotel to hotel. This is one of the worst times of our lives. The state always found us a place to sleep because we were a single mother and a child. It wasn’t stable because we had to change places every time, but it was better than sleeping outside.
My mother was and still is a very beautiful woman, it happened that she received proposals for an apartment right in front of my eyes. I don’t know what she went through with my dad, but she never wanted to be with another person, because she says d**th doesn’t stop a loving relationship from continuing.
There was an association that used to take care of us by always finding for us a place to stay at night. One day, one of the people who were in charge to find us places to sleep, wanted us to stay in his apartment, the time that they find us a better place because we were in a very unsanitary hotel.
My mother didn’t want to go, but I convinced her to go because the idea of sleeping warm in a good bed was all I could think of. But after we had diner on his place he started making move on my mother who stopped him right away. He told us it was either that or we get out of his house. So we left. We went back to the hotel where we were, but our room was already taken.
There was nothing we could do, at least that day, so we chose to slept outside. At some point, while sleeping we were woken up by a group of men who were trying to rape my mother, they hit me so hard that I was even afraid to try to help my mom. Some other men whom I guess came back from a party heard the screams and came to help us, our attackers fled.
I always said that my mother was almost SAed, that’s what I always said and I ended up believing it. But my mother was indeed SAed before my eyes. I finally said it. My mother was SAed before my eyes and I couldn’t do anything. If that day we had thrown ourselves into each other’s arms and cried together, maybe things would have been different?
But she got up, took my arm and told me that this place was not safe that we had to look for a safer place. That was all. We never talked about that day again. We carried on with our lives as if nothing had happened, things got better eventually, she worked hard so that I could be successful, she invested all the money she earn in her entire life on my project and today I owe her the company I created.
How did she managed to survive the hell she’d been through? Ever since I came to terms with the idea that she was SAed, all I wanted was to tell her about it, but it’s not about me, it’s about her. She’s the one who experienced the worst. I would so much like to talk to her about it, but I don’t know what good can come out of it after so many years.
That’s it, that’s all. As for today, her condition is improving. The future looks brighter than it did a few months ago. Well, I think that’s all, this will be my last post. To all who have followed me in those hard times, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and wish you the best in your life. May what you have left to live be better than what you have already lived.
Here’s what people had to say to OP’s update:
Haunting-Row-3961 wrote:
Wishing you peaceful times ahead. Hopefully, your mom is healthy and doing well. It’s good you haven’t spoken to your mom about your marital issues and the issues your wife has with your mom’s presence.
That could definitely hurt your mom, and it’s not worth it. Your mom has been through a lot and definitely doesn’t deserve the resentment that your wife holds towards her for the close relationship you have with your mom.
Your wife is a good person but is toxic in your marital relationship- she wants you to isolate yourself from your mom while continuing to project happy relationship with your mom…she has been diagnosed with mental health issues hopefully she is recovering and getting the help she needs.
You are taking the right steps for your trauma is your marital relationship and tough life you had as a child, you have so much healing. Wishing you peace and happiness in whatever form you choose it.
Orphan_Izzy wrote:
I remember reading your other posts and they left a real impression on me. I often think of things in colors or atmospheres and yours was round and heavy like dense fog but warm and dark with lots of trees. It feels like a long time ago that I read that and here you are again.
It’s good to read these posts again and clear up my memory and I think it’s the great descriptions you give of each person and your own thoughts that make it so well told. Your mom still comes across as the angel you describe seeing her as a child and your reactions to things though maybe stoic are consistent in what I’ve read.
I admire your easygoing nature even though it means you have had to learn to focus on yourself more. You seem wise. Your wife as well, she clearly has been through so much but is a force for good according to all you’ve said.
Her trauma seems to have taken her off track severely which is so unfortunate but I’m very inspired by her desire to change and face the monster obstacles in her life alone. I wish all of you well. There are no bad people here in your main story it seems. Just good people with bad circumstances who are doing the best they can.
The story about your mom at the end here however is tragic and traumatizing and I’m sorry that happened and how it’s effected you both since. There are plenty of bad people in your past I’m guessing and these are just a few. The story is also a clue to just how deep and complex your life really has been beyond what you can share online.
We forget that sometimes and feel like an internet post tells us everything and it does not. Do you know you are a very good writer? With the new update I’m walking away from this with a new impression of white and light blue and cool morning temps and pale sunlight that mean a wide open future ahead. I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing your story.
[deleted] wrote:
So OP, after reading everything. It sounds like your wife also might be dealing with postpartum depression which can happen to women who suffered from miscarriage as well. It seemed that her miscarriage triggered A LOT of traumatic memories/issues.
She’s been through a lot, you been through a lot and your mother has been through a lot. ALL of you need therapy for your own personal issues. Have you considered seeing a therapist? It wouldn’t hurt
jacksonlove3 wrote:
Wow is all I can say. I read all your previous posts and I’m sorry for all that you, your wife and your mom have been through! I hope you and your wife continue to work on and do what’s best for yourselves. Your mom sounds like very remarkable woman! I truly hope she’s getting the care she needs for her health. Good luck through your futures.
