“AITA for telling my stepkids they’ve got some nerve demanding an inheritance?”

My step kids came to know about the sale and at a family dinner a few weeks back they were asking me about it and my step daughter said I hope you leave a good amount for both of us as well fund her upcoming international destination wedding.

I laughed and said they got some nerve. I ain’t leaving a dime to them. We’ll spend half of it and give rest to my wife and rest to charity. They got all angry and cursed me and said I was the evil step dad and hated me and wish I had died instead of their dad.

I told them to get out of my house and take a hike. My wife is beside herself and feels I went too far and should leave something for the kids. I said no and said I would put it in my will that she can’t share her inheritance from me with her kids either.

She isn’t talking to me currently a d things are tense.i don’t feel I done anything wrong, but AITA here and should I just put some money away for kids to make peace?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

StonewallBrigade21

“They got all angry and cursed me and said I was the evil step dad and hated me and wish I had died.”

NTA, the kids are. It’s just too bad that you already gave them many thousands of dollars for college and everything else.

“my wife is besides her self and feels I went to far and should leave something for the kids.”

Pffft. She’s an AH too. I see where her kids get their entitlement from.

“I said no and said I would put it in my will that she can’t share her inheritance from me with her kids either.”

What’s to stop her from giving them cash and buying them things?

tahoeintesla OP responded:

Will put it in a trust for only her. But haven’t decided. Will talk my options the lawyer or may just spend it on a fancy sports car.

satyrbassist

Talk to any lawyer and they’ll tell you that no court will honor such a clause in a will. You’re better off putting it into a trust that takes care of her until her death (living expenses and maybe an allowance) then donates the remainder. Otherwise your step kids will get that money one way or another.

DesertSong-LaLa

NTA to entitled brats who expressed no gratitude that their high brow education and other activities were possible because of you. Your wife fosters their brazen entitlement by suggesting what you should do with you $$.

“Wish you were dead instead of their dad” should have set ablaze the thoughts of leaving them $$. Sorry you have been treated poorly for 20+ years. Time to truly enjoy yourself and not measure who you are by their opinions.

NotdoingitanymoreNTA. I’m a fellow stepparent and understand the sentiment. I’m sorry they were taught it was easy to discard people and any kind of civility or respect was not obligatory in general life.

SwimmingProgram6530

NTA. Enjoy your money and spend, spend, spend!

Maximum-Ear1745

NTA. The stepkids are entitled AHs. I’d argue your wife should have put them in their place. They accepted a free ride to college from a man they don’t respect and then have the audacity to put their hand out for more. Who even asks about money like this? Of be looking at how you can protect the money now, in case of a divorce.

Pappalaya

NTA. It’s your money and you can do with that what you want. Your step-kids never accepted you as their step-dad, straight up told you that, never tried to have some kind of father/kids relationship and now that you have a lot of money pretend you give part of it to them too?

You provided for their life until they were 18, payed for college even if they see you as just a normal man married to their mom. Still if you end up leaving some to them for the peace of your family is understandable, you seem a good dad(you are even if your step-kids never acknowledge that). I hope that one day maybe they realize it.

Later OP updated the post:

UPDATE/EDIT: wow didn’t expect to get so many responses . Thank you for your comments. A few updates to common questions asked.

1. I stepped back from the kids’ activities when they were around 15/14 because they said it wasn’t a big deal for me to be present for their activities.

2. My wife has fought with her kids over the disrespect but I ultimately told her it wasn’t worth ruining her relationship with them when it was clear they were not going to change.

3. My wife also called them out at dinner when they said I should be dead over their dad.

4. No I am not divorcing my wife of 10 years.

5. I do have a prenuptial because when we got together, she had more money than me. My business was new and breaking even at that time. So we had a prenuptial to ensure her money stays with her mainly for her kids. So she can’t get 50% of my money and run. Plus, she won’t be doing that.

6. My wife also read through the post and has apologized and her anger was more towards her kids being brats. She is ok if I don’t leave anything for the kids though she hopes I change my mind and leave a small sum.

7. Right now I have no Plans of doing that but who knows. I ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.

8. Going to by my sports car and planning a 6 week tour of Europe.

9. Making up was very tiring….if you know what I mean

“AITA for telling my stepkids they’ve got some nerve demanding an inheritance?”