“AITA for evicting my BIL, his wife, and kid with nowhere to go?”
My husband (32) got in to a bad accident and hurt his back last year. He is still in PT 3 times a week and the progress has been small and he still needs more surgeries. His brother (29), his wife (34) and his wife’s daughter (13) had just become homeless and all shelters were full.
They had nowhere to go and were staying in their vehicle in freezing temps. My husband asked if I minded if they came to stay with us. We had 2 extra bedrooms, his brother would help with bills and help pick up the slack in our home (we run a farm). I agreed, as I saw no reason to say no. I made my rules abundantly clear and drafted a month to month lease agreement, notarized.
My rules were simple. Clean up after yourselves because I absolutely refuse to clean up after 3 extra people (I have 3 kids myself), do not disrespect me-my home-my kids-etc, and do not bring drama to my home. The first few months went by great. BIL was paying $400 a month, which covered their electric and water usage, and buying their own food.
It didn’t exactly help out financially like the original verbal agreement had been but whatever. I just started working extra hours. However, by month 6 these people became absolute burdens.
BIL and his family kept plugging away at our food because he “forgot” to go grocery shopping (his wife refuses to drive, theres zero food delivery around here). BIL started slowly but surely missing rent payments and always gave this excuse that he was just stressed and “forgot” because he was busy working and helping take care of our farm and simply “didn’t have time” to get to the bank.
And then came the big one for me. They started becoming slobs. The stepdaughter started leaving feminine product wrappers scattered in our bathroom. Started collecting cans and dishes in her bedroom and gave us a bug infestation. Started leaving her fake eyelashes and fake nails EVERYWHERE in the bathroom.
Eyelashes on the walls, fake nails in the shower, and in the shower drains. Started taking 40+ minute showers and started leaving her clothing/wet towels everywhere. All her dirty clothes she would just dump in front of the washer and walk off, leaving mounds of clothing in the hallway.
Whenever she was told to pick up after herself, she would hulk stomp through the house, slam doors, scream at everyone, and then get PETTY. Like she would throw me and my sons clean clothing on the floor that I had folded and put on the dryer (my kids put away their own clothing).
Or she would dump bleach all over the bathroom floor while my baby (2yo) was in there with her and start moping with straight bleach without a window open. I lost my crap on her on that one. She did it once again afterwards. She started “washing” her dishes by rinsing them with cold water and that’s it.
No scrubbing, no soap. Our house went from clean and functional to an absolute crapshow 24/7. BIL was never home to correct his step kid. His wife is just a lazy POS and stays in her bedroom 24/7. Doe not cook for them, does not clean, nothing. Just stays in her room watching tv/gaming.
I brought this up with BIL last night after my husband and I talked and BIL was pissed and said that I needed to stop acting high and mighty and treating his step kid to a different standard than my own boys. Which makes no sense. My kids run the farm, go to school, do sports AND do ALL their chores.
Their rooms are clean. Their bathrooms are clean. I don’t clean up after my kids (aside from the 2yo, he is a menace). But he was just dodging and deflecting and blaming me and my children and I guess I just lost it.
Between him skimping on his tiny rent payments and him and his family basically destroying my house and being ignorant and angry all the time, I just told him we were done and he had until the end of the month to leave. He asked if I was serious, asked who was going to run my farm (me and my kids, that’s who) and said I was “heartless” because I know they will be back in their vehicle.
I told him that wasn’t my problem and I did not care. AITA? My MIL (she lives in Peru) has been blowing up my phone saying her son made a mistake marrying such a “repulsive woman.”
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Grofactor said:
You gave them a chance; they took advantage; you kick them out and move on. The end.
cassowary32 said:
NTA. Once they threatened the safety of your youngest, they needed to go. Protect your belongings, there’s definitely going to be a crash out before they leave. Also, you might want to get a jump start on eviction proceedings.
Own-Application8596 said:
NTA. Don’t let them take your kindness for granted and walk all over you. They knew the rules and boundaries and have crossed them. I would do the same thing. Don’t feel bad and ignore anyone telling you that you’re the AH for doing so.
Emotional_Fan_7011 said:
NTA. Tell them they haven’t been paying rent, utilities, or buying their own food, so he should have been able to save up money for an apartment! They had 6 months to sort their stuff out. Instead they abused you and your family’s trust. If he wants to point fingers he can point them at his lazy and useless wife. NTA.
Witty_Fall_2007 said:
NTA – tell him he can stay and the mother and daughter can go.
Puzzleheaded-Cup-854 said:
NTA. they had a choice, help out and clean up after themselves or live in their car. They chose option 2 and you’re the problem? That’s almost comical. Almost.
1RainbowUnicorn said:
NTA. They took advantage of your kindness and your husband’s medical situation. They had all these months to be looking for a permanent residence, or getting on a housing wait list. Good job on having an actual written agreement!
Meowlo_ said:
NTA. Sadly there are a lot of people like this who will always be users and takers with no sense of urgency. You gave them shelter and a perfect opportunity to get back on their feet and make a plan to get their lives right.
Instead they walked all over your generosity and acted like they were entitled to your space. They are the heartless ones if you ask me. I’ll never understand the lack of shame that some people have.
