“AITA for telling my ex’s parents the truth about why I ended our engagement?”
I (26f) was engaged for more than a year but called it off a few months ago. My family and friends knew but not a lot in my ex’s family and friends knew. His parents had grown frustrated by the chaos in their family that to them seemed to follow the end of our engagement and they and my ex’s grandparents approached me to ask why I’d called everything off.
This is so messy and I feel dumb for not worrying about it but I’ll explain what happened and what I told them. So my ex’s brother and his wife were trying to have a baby for a while and failed. Not long after ex and I got engaged, his brother and SIL asked if my ex would donate s*#$m. They wanted to act like his brother was the bio father, but they’d be honest with the kid. My ex and I talked about it and I was fine with it. I helped him get the samples and his brother would come and collect them and take them to his wife. It took quite a few but it worked. Only when she got pregnant finally she started acting weird toward me. She was jealous. Like clearly jealous. She made snarky comments toward me and glared at me when I’d see her. This was going on for a few weeks. When ex and I were shown the ultrasound photos, she looked pi^%ed that he was hugging me while we looked. Then she came to the house when I was alone and she accused me of coming between the brothers, and wanting her child to grow up an only child. Like this was seriously out of nowhere. It made me feel off about things and I asked her why she was acting like a jealous girlfriend or mistress. She lost it and told me I needed to back off. I confronted my ex and he played dumb. He said he had no idea why she was behaving that way. But I didn’t buy it and then his brother asked me if I thought his wife was being weird with my ex. I said yep. We both confronted them and she asked why it mattered how she’d gotten pregnant as long as they got the result they wanted. Ex’s brother almost attacked my ex. Ex was saying it wasn’t like that and the turkey baster method wasn’t working and it was all about his brother and how nothing else happened. He really thought we’d buy that. I walked away from him that night and I gave back my ring. Ex tried to fight for me to forgive him but I just felt foolish for agreeing to begin with. I don’t know what’s going on with the brother and her. I didn’t stay in touch. But I told ex’s parents and grandparents that my ex was intimate with his brother’s wife and that it got messy because of the baby. They thanked me for my honesty and apologized for asking me. Then a few days later my ex DM’d me on Instagram and asked why I had to mess with his family like that and he said I was intimate with his brother over more than he already had. I blocked him (it was a second account I forgot about). But I feel bad if I highlighted what his brother’s dealing with before he was ready to tell anyone. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Did you all really think a turkey baster would work? LOL Sp&^m have to be kept at a certain temperature or they die. This should have been done at a doctor’s office AND a legal contract signed. SMH! Plus this sounds very similar to another story I read yesterday.
SylenSong OP:
I had no idea about this stuff. I’ve heard of others doing it and it working but I never considered doing it myself and I’m not exactly an expert.
NTA. You didn’t owe him silence. His family approached you. And he cheated on you with his brothers wife. He’s a POS. Sounds like they deserve each other.
I feel for the brother, but that’s not your responsibility
SylenSong OP:
I agree, they really are perfect for each other after everything that happened. I’m not sure they’ll ever realize just how much they f&^%ed up either
Be glad you got out before you married him. If he could cheat on you with his SIL, he would have cheated on you at any time.
On to bigger and better things for you!
SylenSong OP:
Yes! I’m moving on and looking forward to bigger and better things.
NTA. It’s just the truth. You ended your engagement because your ex cheated on you. They asked, you answered. It wasn’t your secret to keep, and if he wanted to keep his secret, he should have kept his secret.
You had a close call. I’m glad you got out of there.
SylenSong OP:
I’m so glad his SIL made it so obvious. If they’d been good at acting like none of it happened we’d have been in the dark for way longer probably. And there was nothing stopping them from doing it more. Finding out when I did made it incredibly easy to leave and I’m relieved.
This is the third post in 2 days where a couple wants the brother to give sp$%m against the gf/wife’s wishes. Who knew this happens all the time?
SylenSong OP:
It wasn’t against my wishes exactly. I did support it. But only when it was done via turkey baster. I never would have consented to them having sex to do this.
farvag2025 said:
NTA. He kept a secret from you, which is never good. But this isn’t hiding a Pokémon obsession or splurging on a gaming PC without asking. This is effing around on you and lying about it. Leaving him was just being sane about things. But his family asked. You answered. It wasn’t your job to keep his secrets, especially since you’re not a couple anymore. It is literally not your circus, not your monkeys.
ArgumentSpiritual714 said:
MoonlightSunbeamCha said:
NTA. Honestly, you were just being real with his family. They asked, and you told them the truth. It’s not like you went out of your way to spill the tea—you were put in a position where you had to explain. It’s a messy situation, and it’s not your fault that his brother’s secret got exposed. If anything, your ex should have been more upfront from the beginning, and maybe this whole mess could’ve been avoided.
stullenandy1234 said:
NTA. Do not ever talk to this guy again. He has shown just how much he respects you. Also, be glad your name isn’t on his lease. Hopefully his momma can cover his butts rent since she looked so far down on you
