BACKGROUND: So I (26f) stopped shaving my armpits a few years ago and found that I greatly prefer not having bald armpits. I’m a sweaty person, and having hair prevents my pits from getting swampy and sweating off every single deodorant/antiperspirant known to mankind.

I also have sensitive skin and get horrible rashes and razor burn from shaving. My decision to not shave my armpits is primarily personal, but I am aware that it is going against a societal/gender norm, and is therefore inherently political or subject to being politicized. Under no circumstances though am I refusing to shave solely to make a political statement.

ISSUE: My friends are getting married next summer, and they’ve invited me to their wedding. It’s also a destination wedding, and many of the wedding party events will involve wearing a swimsuit or clothes that expose my armpit hair, as it will be summer in Mexico. I asked about dress codes for the various events, and both the bride and groom said they won’t be strict about dress codes as long as everyone is “well groomed.” I figured I knew what that meant considering I do work a professional job, but then they took this conversation as an opportunity to warn me that some other wedding guests may be uncomfortable with the fact I dont shave. I reminded them that they invited me to this wedding with the full knowledge that I dont shave my armpits, as it’s not exactly a secret. They said that they assumed I shaved for special events where I needed to “look presentable.” I said I always look presentable for special occasions and that shaving my armpits has nothing to do with it. If people take issue with it, then that’s their problem. Now they are accusing me of trying to take attention away from their wedding by making a political statement. I told them I’m not doing that at all and that I dont shave because its a personal preference, but ultimately got a “whatever you say” as a response. They have not at this point said I cant go if I dont shave, so I’m planning on going and not shaving. WIBTA for doing that? Again, they know I don’t shave and haven’t for years. I wasn’t even thinking about my armpit hair until they brought it up. I even said I can trim it a little and they said “it would still be very distracting.” I’ve also explained to them my skin sensitivity, but they seem dead set on believing I dont shave to make a statement. They’ve said “well you’re a feminist so there’s no way it’s not a political statement.” They’re making me feel like an asshole, that’s for sure, but am I REALLY the asshole?