“AITA for telling my friend she’s not allowed to wear makeup to my wedding?”
I know the title sounds really bad but let me explain. I (25F) have been friends with this girl, let’s call her Mia (26F) since freshman year of high school. We became friends because we were in the same biology and history class together.
Mia has ALWAYS been a pick-me. She would always talk about how small she was in front of guys and would make comments putting down her female friends to get attention from guys. There was a time our whole friend group in high school was having dinner……And she made a comment about how much food I was eating and called me a slob in front of everyone. She then kept going on and on about how she ate half of her burger and got so full because she’s so small.After high school me and a lot of our friends distanced ourselves from her when we left for university because of the way she acts towards us (especially our girl friends). During college the only times we ever interacted was over social media wishing each other happy birthday or liking each others posts. I honestly stopped paying attention to her.
After I graduated University I got a job in a city in the state I am from and I moved with my boyfriend at the time (now fiancé), unbeknownst to me she was in the same city because her fiancé worked there. We reconnected and she apologized for how she acted in school and I felt us becoming close again.We got close and she introduced me to her fiancé and I introduced her to mine. He is a very nice man and they seemed really happy. She asked me to be a part of her wedding party and I agreed because I thought she had changed. I was wrong.
She was HORRIBLE during wedding preparations. Bridezilla isn’t even a word to describe how she treated people. She would yell at her bridesmaids if something didn’t go her way. During bridesmaids dress shopping she called one of her other bridesmaids fat to her face and would yell at us for “ruining her wedding.”But to her fiancé’s face, she was an angel. During this time, I also learned that her pick-me ways NEVER changed. She does the same thing of putting other people down to make herself look better in front of guy, but she does it with her fiancé and acts all innocent and sweet. I was miserable the whole time but Im not a very confrontational person so I never said anything.
Closer to the time of her wedding asked me to book the hair appointments for her and the bridesmaid and book the makeup appointment. I asked her if I should book a makeup appointment for us as well and she told me she didn’t want me to.At first I thought it was a money issue with not being able to afford it for the rest of us and I told her we can do our own makeup or I can get my sister to do ours. She told me she didn’t want any of us doing makeup because she “doesn’t want us trying to upstage her on her day.”I was confused and a little shocked and told her that wouldn’t be the case and we could all do something natural and light. I especially emphasized on how I was breaking out badly due to hormones and would feel really insecure without makeup covering it and she yelled at me saying it was her day and we weren’t going to ruin it by upstaging her.
To not deal with anymore problems I left it at that and didn’t wear any makeup on her wedding, despite feeling incredibly insecure due to my skin. Now about a year later I’m getting married and I’m planning my own wedding. I have also distanced myself from Mia.But I still invited her to be a part of my wedding party because my fiancé became good friends with her husband and asked him to be a part of his wedding party. Mia wouldn’t let him be apart of it unless she’s a part of mine because she “doesn’t want him walking down the aisle with another girl.”
Because my fiancé wants his friend as a part of the wedding I told her she could be my bridesmaid, but she’s not allowed to wear any makeup. She asked me if any of my other bridesmaids weren’t wearing makeup and I told her nope that they all were, I just don’t want her wearing it because it’s my day.
She’s pi%$ed at me and ignoring me, I told my fiancé about the ultimatum I gave her and he thinks it’s hilarious but my mom and sister think I’m being too harsh. Am I the a^ole???
