AITAH for refusing to tell my wife I love her more than my dad?
This is other people OP:
Nta. I get being very on top of a schedule. I am with my child but when other people put her to sleep I already know it’s unlikely it’ll go the way it does when we put her to sleep. And it’s more about baby being comfortable and happy when it’s other people. She has to learn to be okay when things don’t go as planned. Which isn’t easy for everyone. I’m glad your dad held your child when they were upset. He’s a great grandpa
And one instance will not break a routine or get a baby to expect contact sleep every night.
Seriously… What’s she going to do when the baby gets ill for the first time and screams his head off every time someone puts him down? Just let him scream all night, not feeling well and probably confused and scared? Christ. A good sleep schedule is important, but there will always be exceptions.
This ^ our sleep coach told us when we used her years ago when our now 6 yr old was 6 months old that it’s an 80-20 rule for sleep routine. If you’re consistently hitting your routine 80% of the time you’re good because life happens. Honestly, OP’s wife seems slightly unhinged to me. Not sure how old the baby is but I do wonder with this dramatic of a reaction if she is struggling postpartum l. Because, it wasn’t as if the baby was in danger or harmed. I feel the grandparent in this situation truly was trying to do the right thing at the time. NTA
And OP, your wife owes your father an apology
Exactly. Wife is flipping when the dad was doing them a favor and trying his best. He was very apologetic about it. Most parents won’t even help watch their grandkids so she needs to be thankful. The baby was safe, still fell asleep and one night is not going to throw off the baby’s schedule. Wife is being extra and her attitude sucks. Who makes their husband pick who they love more. The husband did the right thing by not answering and offering to communicate. Wife seems like a stickler and pain in the ass. Be humble and thankful instead of mean and hateful. Someone did a favor they didn’t have to
Exactly this. I was just like Aww! what a great grandpa. How dare she argue with him. Your wife needs to learn. It’s not the end of the world. If you’re teaching or introducing som
Yes, I love how the wife mocked op for “needing to follow the almighty plan”
Totally agree. Sleep schedules are a guideline, not a hard rule. Sometimes it’s more about the kid feeling safe and cared for than sticking to a plan. I think it’s cool that the dad was willing to step in like that it’s not easy for anyone, especially if it’s been a while since they cared for a baby.
NTA, but your wife majorly is. You can’t expect a baby to adhere to normal routines with anyone other than their parents. Grandpa did the best he could and didn’t do anything wrong. She is being completely unreasonable in every single way. I would be pretty hurt if I was your dad and not keen to babysit again anytime soon.
My first thought was aww what a sweet memory for grandpa and for son to see.
My father in law never held my babies. Certainly didn’t babysit. To come home to grandpa holding a sleeping baby is so wholesome. I would have loved that! Would mom rather come home to a screaming baby in its crib? Things don’t always go as planned with babies. Grandpa rolled with it and made the baby comfortable. The only thing I ever expected when family watched my kids was for them to be alive when I came home. What a great grandpa!
Your wife probably did unrepairable damage to her relationship with her father in law for ever. She’s TA here.
That moment probably meant the fucking WORLD to that man, and OP’s unhinged wife ruined it. And then making OP rank his love for his dad vs her? Like I said, unhinged.
ETA: let’s not forget she wanted her FIL who just provided free childcare so she could have a night away sent home in an Uber. HELLLL no
That sounds like such a sweet moment between grandpa and baby Babysitting isn’t always perfect and sometimes you just do what works to comfort the baby Your wife seems too harsh and missing the bigger picture She may have
NTA when raising a kid plans need to be adaptable. It’s so sweet that your dad can and will watch your baby. She is being ungrateful and maybe she is dealing with some after pregnancy emotions. Or maybe if this is her regular personality. I think is irrational to act that way toward someone giving you a favor and the love ranking is just childish.
Wow, NTA. Is your child the first born and are you two brand new parents? It sounds like your wife is trying to follow parenting guidelines but isn’t realizing that babies don’t participate in schedules, especially when their caregiver isn’t around for bedtime.
