My ex besties Nicole and her partner of six years, Tina (not their real names), and I were living together post graduating college eight years ago. We all got along great, had a system worked out for chores and expenses, our various animals cohabitated very well, and all around it was a fantastic living situation for all of us.

About six months in to our lease Nicole started taking weekend trips two or three times a month, she told us she was going to visit another friend because that friend was going through a hard time. Tina and I believed her.

However, Nicole came back from her first trip and complained about how the other friend was in a financial bind and Nicole had loaned her some money and asked to get out of her part of the bills for the month. Tina and I, knowing the other friend and trusting Nicole agreed for that month as long as we got paid back when Nicole did.

In the past both the other friend and Nicole had always been good about paying back loans so we had no reason to doubt Nicole’s word. When Nicole got back from the second trip, she complained about the same thing, and again we agreed. This went on for the next four months, and Tina and I began to become concerned with how much money Nicole was giving away and how she owed $1600 ($300 for rent and $100 for bills per month) at this point. We decided to have a sit down with Nicole about the situation. This is where things got interesting. She admitted to us that she wasn’t really visiting the friend she said she was visiting and really she was visiting a different friend, Sean (fake name), who was trying to get out of a toxic marriage, and that her money had actually gone to helping him pay for a lawyer since he couldn’t take it off his card without his wife knowing. Tina and I were confused, why would she lie about that, if we had known we would have also wanted to help Sean, so we pushed for more information. This is when she started crying and admitted that she had been cheating on Tina with Sean and was planning on moving in with Sean as soon as he filed for divorce.

At this point Tina stormed out of the apartment, saying she needed to be alone, I followed to make sure she was ok and she told me to text her when Nicole was no longer in our apartment. I went back inside and told Nicole she needed to pack a bag and leave. I would be in contact with her to get her stuff out and figure out next steps. Four days later, Tina invited Nicole to live with us again and had basically forgiven her for everything. I didn’t have another place to go so I stayed living there but with as little contact with Nicole as I could. Nicole continued to go visit Sean on weekends, and sometimes Tina even went with her. Tina began covering Nicole’s part of the bills by herself because I refused until I got my $800 back. When the end of our lease came, Nicole was ready to move in with Sean and moved out three weeks before Tina and I moved out. Tina and I found a cheaper place with a two year lease. Tina remained friends with Nicole, I did not as I still hadn’t gotten my $800 back. Tina and I lived together just fine until one weekend I went to visit family in another state and Tina decided to have Nicole and Sean over. I didn’t care because I wasn’t going to be there and I trusted Tina. When I came home I found my safe where I kept my important documents and stored some cash had the keypad had been popped off, which you only do if the keypad has died and you need to use the key. I looked in the safe to find that the $2,000 I kept in there had been removed. I knew that no one other than Tina, Nicole, and Sean had been in the apartment because we had security cameras on all of the entrances. I asked Tina if she knew where it was and she told me that she had found Nicole in my room at one point, and Nicole had brushed it off as she was drunk and looking for the bathroom.

I asked Tina to ask Nicole directly about it because by this point I was blocked by Nicole, and she admitted she found my key to my safe (not easy to find because I kept it in a hid-a-key box screwed to the under side of the sink counter in the on-suite bathroom to my bedroom) and she had taken the money because I was being a B-word about the whole situation. I asked Tina to give me Nicole’s address and a copy of the texts where she admitted to stealing my money so I could take Nicole to small claims court. Tina refused and even deleted the texts, she defended Nicole for being drunk, and offered to pay me back for the stolen money and the $800 I was still owed for bills. I said no, and told her if she was going to continue to take Nicole’s side and be involved with someone like that I could no longer be friends with her. I paid a lump sum to our landlord for the remainder of my portion of the rent, put all the bills that were in my name into Tina’s, and moved out two weeks later. I heard from a mutual that Nicole and Sean are now married, and living in another state. Tina got married to another mutual, and they invited Nicole and Sean to their wedding, where Nicole gave a speech about how kind and generous Tina has been through their break up and how much of a B-word I am for abandoning both of them in their time of need. So am I the AH?

This is what people had to say to OP:

GryphonGrey said:

No…but YTA for not filing a police report immediately.

Fluffyinblue said:

I would have still called the police for theft and you could have used the recording to show them going into your room

Renzieface said:

Why didn’t you take the money from Tina? You didn’t have to stay friends with them, but you could have had $2800 for your trouble.

That said, NTA for cutting weirdos off.

OP responded:

Tina at the time made barely above minimum wage and was barely getting by, taking 2800 from her would have caused her to be in a bad place and I am too nice to do that to someone that I cared for at one point.

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Longjumping_Dark_460 said:

Do they not have banks in your country?

OP responded:

They do, but I keep a cash stash incase I need to leave the country for my own safety and don’t want a paper trail.