“AITA for refusing to get married at my fiancé’s family’s venue?”
I (23F) just got engaged to my (24M) Fiancé two months ago. While this has been the happiest moment of my life, it’s also been one of the most stressful. There has been a lot of tension between my parents and I when it comes to certain plans. My parents are usually pretty opinionated about everything, however I thought they would have been a little more supportive for this big moment in our lives.
To preface before I get I to the story, my dream wedding venue is outdoors and rustic. When it comes to the venue, it’s between two locations, one that my fiancé’s family owns and one that is a very cute local barn. My fiancé’s family’s venue is your average hall, however, it is about a 50-minute drive from us and is not what I had dreamed of for my wedding.
It is nice but it doesn’t have an outdoor area and has no windows. His family is generously giving us a family discount that would make it $5,000 cheaper than the other location. The other location, however, is only a 7-minute drive from both of our houses and has a beautiful outdoor portion that overlooks a farm with horses. It also has lots of natural light and beauty.
Aesthetically, it is the wedding venue of my dreams. Where I am running into some problems is my parents opinionated comment on how “ dumpy” my fiancé’s family’s venue is. While I think it is nice, it’s definitely not what I had dreamed, but it is significantly cheaper, and it’s my fiancé top choice, obviously because it’s his family’s venue.
However my heart is telling me that I will be very sad if I do choose to have our wedding at his family’s venue. While I know it will be nice and his family would go above and beyond for us, it is just not what I had ever dreamed. I also feel some pressure from my parents from all their negative comments.
I’m afraid that if I do choose my fiancés family‘s venue that they will also be making the same comments the day of our wedding. My fiancé and I also toured both venues and he loved both of them but felt a very strong emotional connection to his family’s venue and for the price difference this was by far his top choice, but he is ultimately giving me the decision to choose which wedding venue to book.
I am feeling stuck in my decision and feel like an ahole for wanting to choose anything other than my fiancé‘s family’s venue. What is your opinion should I chose the wedding venue of my dreams or should I chose my fiancé‘s family’s venue? AITA?
NOTE: We will be having our ceremony in our hometown at our church. This is a non-negotiable. My fiancé’s family’s reception venue is a 50-minute drive from the ceremony and is generally not in an area where anyone lives. The barn venue is less than three minutes from the church and is in the general area where everyone lives.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
PinkSquiffel said:
NTA. I can’t imagine a wedding venue without windows tbh.
digistoreuniverse said:
NTA, this is your wedding too, and it’s okay to prioritize your dream venue. Your fiance is already giving you the choice, which shows he values your happiness. Choosing a place that makes you truly excited doesn’t mean you’re disrespecting his family. It just means you’re making the day meaningful for both of you.
czechhoneybee said:
NTA. They own the venue and want you to get married there but they’re charging you for it? It’s not what you want. If you’re going to pay for a venue, pay for the one you want. I’d have a different opinion if they were not charging you, because then you’d have a lot more money to put to your honeymoon. Is $5k of savings enough to make you choose to not have the wedding you want?
Elegant_Bluebird_460 said:
NTA. It is your wedding. I own a venue often used for weddings and other events. My adult son and his wife recently got married. The venue was offered for free if they wanted it. She had her heart set somewhere else. It didn’t even occur to me that she shouldn’t do what is right for her.
You should choose what is right for you. For some, such a discount would be right for them. For others, the discount isn’t enough and it seems you are in that camp. If you can afford the other place then go for it!
Ralph728 said:
NTA. Your wedding is your special day, and people have a hard time grasping that sometimes.
Missmagentamel said:
NTA. Go with the venue you love! Honestly, they’re not giving you the family venue, only discounting the price…from what you wrote it does sound dumpy. Go with the venue you love!
