“AITA for refusing to let my partner share the hospital bed with me after I deliver our baby?”
I’m due any day now. Everything is ready. Bags packed, car seat installed, nursery done. We should be excited and calm right now but instead were fighting about a BED.
My partner has it in his head that when I give birth he is sleeping in the hospital bed with me. Not next to me. Not on the couch they provide in the room. IN the bed. With me. The person who will have just gone through hours of labor and delivery.
I told him that’s not happening. Those beds are barely big enough for one person and I am going to need every inch of space I can get. I’m going to be sore and swollen and bleeding and trying to feed a newborn every two hours.
The absolute last thing I need is another full grown adult wedged in next to me while I try to figure out how to exist in my postpartum body. He got offended. He said I was shutting him out of the experience. That he wants to be close to me and the baby and sleeping on a couch across the room isn’t the same.
I said I understand that, but my physical recovery has to come first right now. I’m not trying to hurt his feelings, I’m trying to survive the first 48 hours after pushing a baby out. He said if he can’t sleep in the bed with me, he might as well just go home because he’s not going to be uncomfortable on a hospital couch for two nights.
GO HOME.
While I am in the hospital.
With our newborn. Because the couch isn’t good enough for him.
I literally just stared at him. Like you would rather leave your partner and your brand new baby alone in a hospital than sleep on a slightly uncomfortable couch? Thats where were at right now. Our other kids are already taken care of. Grandparents have them sorted. There is zero reason he needs to be home.
This is entirely about him not wanting to sacrifice his comfort for two nights while I sacrifice my entire body to bring his child into the world. And somehow I’M the difficult one in this scenario. Because I want to recover in a bed alone after labor. The audacity of me, honestly. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Either-Peace-5704
You will be in a diaper with stitches learning to keep a newborn alive and his dealbreaker is the couch. He is not ready for what comes after the hospital.
manamonkey
Your partner is a stupid, spoiled man baby. He needs a reality check. Can’t imagine why you have multiple kids with him.
Any_Today4823
She should have dumped him long ago, I guarantee this entitlement is not new. Women have to stop dating and procreating with losers.
CParkerLPN
NTA. For infection control purposes, he should not sleep in the hospital bed. The only person(s) that should be in that bed are those it is assigned to.
Source: Being a nurse for 25 years.
Was he like this would the other kids? Is his mom normal? I would tell her. I can’t imagine any woman not laying into him.
So…hospital beds have weight limits and those limits cannot hold two people. when two people are on the bed an alarm literally goes off. i don’t know how to tell you that your husband is so stupid without saying those exact words. i hope he and the couch will be very happy together.
He is more worried about himself and his comfort than the woman going through childbirth for his child. This would be a hard no for me. I would tell him if he cannot come and be supportive and take you first, there is no need for him to be there. You should not have to coddle an adult man child while you are trying to give birth. Was he this way with the other kids?
Sounds like you shouldn’t have made a baby with this man baby but as you did and its now too late you need to put your foot down instead. I’m a mum of 6 and I can tell you the last thing you’ll be wanting is a tiny amount of bed to heal and relax on.
You need space and if he’s upset about that oh well he can go home instead and leave you at hospital to enjoy the peace with baby alone. He needs to grow up. You are NTA but he is.
NTA…..but …Hell. I sent my husband home to sleep both times. No point in us both being sleep deprived. And he cleaned the house while I was gone and went food shopping so I came home to semi order. I was perfectly happy just me and the baby.
Idk. He sounds exhausting. I literally don’t even know what I would do in your situation it’s so unfathomable to me. Strait out of left field. Does he think he’ll be MORE comfortable wedged on that tiny ass bed in with all of the goo coming out of you?
If he doesn’t want the couch or the recliner could he bring a little air mattress or cot or something? Maybe your night would be easier if he did just leave. Ask the nurses for some help.
Or tell him he’s dangerously close to being kicked out of the room altogether. He can see you when you get home. How any man can make childbirth all about them and their experience is positively mind-boggling to me. I don’t think there’s anything more selfish than encroaching upon a pregnant woman, especially one that’s giving birth/ has just given birth.
And additionally for him to be complaining about being “uncomfortable” for a night? Seriously. Tell him he can sleep in the bed with you if he straps a couple of bowling balls to his midsection and walks around like that for at least two weeks. SMH…
So, what do you think of this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?
