“AITA for expecting my sister to plan my wedding for free and demoting her to guest when she wouldn’t?”
My fiancé and I have a small accounting office. We do pretty well because we are both bilingual. I speak English and Spanish, and he speaks English and Ukrainian. About 10% of my business comes from family and friends of the family. I have taken barter for work more often than you might imagine, all above board and documented.One year my aunt paid in empanadas. My “uncle” had his mom make us a huge batch of tamales. Even my dad has helped my fiancé fix up his truck. I have had to pick him up more than once because my mom feeds him too much and my dad sends him home loaded with aguardiente.Everyone we have ever traded with has provided a fair exchange. I have done my sister’s accounting since she started her wedding planning company. Obviously she had nothing to trade, so I did it for free, first to help her get started and now because we just fell into that routine. But now I am getting married.
I told everyone at dinner at my parents’ house. I asked my sister if she would plan my wedding and be my maid of honor. She agreed to be my maid of honor but refused to plan my wedding.When I asked why, she said I would need to pay for her services and that she cannot do free work for family because she needs to make money at her job. She said it as if I did not understand what having a job means.I talked to my fiancé and then to my parents. We told my sister that she would still receive an invitation, but she would no longer be in the wedding party. I also gave her all of her files for the year on a USB drive and told her she would need to take her business elsewhere. My parents told her that I was right and that they were disappointed she wanted to make money off me after everything I had done to help her.
She went on social media to complain, and a few people took her side, which is fair. I do not expect everyone to agree with me. Some of them contacted me directly. I listened and then asked whether I should continue working for her for free. Most said no. A few said family helps family. If I had done their taxes, I told them I would not be doing them this year or in the future. They tried to backpedal, but I stood firm.My sister says she will not come to the wedding. I told her to RSVP no. She later said she was not thinking when she said that. That is not my problem. She has two months to find a new accountant.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Mysterious_Light1231 says:
You missed an opportunity there , your response should have been “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we charged family, don’t worry I’ll calculate and send you the bill for ALL of the years of service I’ve provided for free.” NTA.
rmcottage says:
NTA. It sounded like a fair exchange and in fact your sister would still have been getting the better deal since she would have planned one wedding whereas you would have still done her accounting every year. She has been very short sighted and selfish, and I’m glad your parents agree with you. For the sake of your relationship I hope you can resolve this.
Comfortfoodalert says:
“I don’t mind paying for your service. Btw, here’s the invoice of all the years I’ve done your accounting/taxes. Something must’ve been gone wrong given that I’ve never received a single payment for the services provided.” Your sister’s a joke. NTA.
swordrat720 says:
From today, you’re no longer helping her. She doesn’t need your business. Family can go pound sand.
What do you think?
