I’m 24f, the youngest of three. Growing up, I was always the “easy” child. I didn’t get in trouble, did well in school, didn’t ask for much. My parents used to say they were grateful I never caused stress like my siblings did. At the time, I took that as a compliment.As I got older, I realized what it really meant.

I was the one expected to adjust. If plans changed last minute, I was the one who was supposed to understand. If someone needed help, I was the one who was “free anyway.” My siblings could say no, have boundaries, even mess up, and my parents would rally around them. I was praised for being flexible, not for being supported.Even now, as an adult, it hasn’t changed much. If my parents need help with errands, paperwork, or watching a younger cousin, they call me.

If I say yes, it’s normal. If I hesitate, I’m told I’m being difficult. Meanwhile, when I needed help moving apartments last year, they were “too busy,” but somehow found time the next weekend to help my brother with something less urgent.

The breaking point happened recently when my mom asked me to cancel plans so I could help with a family obligation. I said I couldn’t, because I had already committed to something important to me. She sighed and said, “You’ve changed. You used to always be there for us.” Something in me snapped.I told them I’m tired of earning love by being convenient. I said it feels like I’m only appreciated when I make things easier for everyone else, and invisible when I need something in return. I wasn’t yelling, but I was emotional. My dad said I was being unfair and keeping score, and my mom started crying and said she never realized I felt that way.Now things feel awkward. My parents are quieter around me, and my siblings think I should apologize for upsetting them. Part of me feels bad for hurting their feelings, but another part feels relieved that I finally said what I’ve been holding in for years.

So… AITAH?