Aitah for using my now ex after I found out he was cheating?

Aitah for using my now ex after I found out he was cheating?

I found out the guy I was living with was cheating on me last June. It hurt but I couldn’t afford to move out. So I swallowed my pride and let it continue. I slowly started to notice that my life was actually better. I didn’t act suspicious of him at all. He got bolder and started spending nights and even weekends away. Our bedroom went dead when I stopped initiating. Honestly fine by me. He was fine on bed but I’ve had better. Got tested. I’m fine.
I stopped spending money on any extras. I continued to do the shopping for the house and I used his half to top up the groceries I liked. I still mad sure there was good food for him in the fridge and pantry. I stopped covering small stuff like his dry cleaning.
I sold my car and used started using his since he hardly used it. I put all my money into a seperate account. We never really mingled our money. We only had one joint account to pay bills. It took seven months but I saved up almost $20,000 including the money from my car.
He talked to me just after the new year about the lease in March. I was honest and told him that I was leaving him but that I would stay until March as a roommate if it would help him out. He got very upset and said I blindsided him. I said it should be easy for him to find a roommate for our apartment. It is pretty cheap and we’ll located in our city.
He said that he wants me out at the end of January and he will pay February by himself if I let him keep the damage deposit. I agreed. I moved in with my sister temporarily. He also asked for his car keys back. His side piece moved in almost immediately. Whatever. I ran into them at the farmers market whet I work on the weekends. I introduced myself to her and said she must be Maggie. He asked how I knew her name. I was honest and said I had known about her for six months or so. Now I’m hearing from a few mutuals that I embarrassed him and threw a wrench in their relationship. He had been telling her we were just roommates and that I was uncomfortable with him bringing women into the apartment. That is absof***lutely true. I would have been very uncomfortable.
Anyway he started doing the math and figured out how I funded my exit. He said if I knew I should have confronted him so we could have ended last year. I told him to go shit in his hat.
Was I wrong for handling things the way I did?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

I embarrassed him and threw a wrench in their relationship.

Aww, the poor darling! So sad, to be embarrassed by your new girlfriend finding out you were cheating on your old girlfriend and spoiling the end of their relationship for her! Anyway NTA, find better friends.

Not to mention “I ran into them at the farmers market where I work”

He absolutely took new girlfriend there deliberately to show off and rub it in OP’s face. Dude fucked around thinking he was invincible and found out very quickly that he’s a dumbass

Yup, cheaters often think they are slicker than shit. And forget that when you’re messing around with the one person who lives with you, they for some reason notice these little things like being out all night or over weekends.

Strange, wonder how they could’ve possibly known something was going on???

My ex had a very similar MO to OP’s ex. She’d disappear for multiple days, not answer her phone or texts. I knew.

The audacity of this man complaining about it to anyone, let alone mutual friends. He embarrassed himself!

I bow to you, OP! This is the beginning of your bad boss arc! Come back and update us in the future, I’m rooting for you!

audacity of this man complaining about it to anyone, let alone mutual friends

I had been living with a boyfriend for about 9 months, we didn’t get along but I felt really stuck financially so stuck it out to get to the end of the lease. One night he broke up with me, at which point I found out he had been cheating on me for 3 months.

I went down the street, called my dad on a payphone and told him I would move with him the next week (he had asked me to but I told him I had to stay until my lease ended). When I came back and told my ex I would be gone in a week, he got super pissed because he wanted me to move to the second bedroom, keep paying half the bills while his new girlfriend moved in and didn’t pay anything.

He had the audacity to complain to our friends that I wasn’t willing to do that.

Lmao right! Like he could have ended it before cheating? How do people really think this way!?

I need a book, movie, live action play, documentary and orchestra on this because this lady played him like a fiddle lmao. Just all the tea, spilled.

NTA and soooo he deliberately bought her to the market to “accidentally” run into you for an adrenaline kick. (Mainly because he’s been feeding off adrenaline from cheating on you this whole time and now it’s gone and the fun mistress is now a daily doldrum…..) and instead you turned it all on his head and he realised he wasn’t in control this whole time… you were. Hilarious.

Beautiful revenge, revenge is best served by living your best life!

NTA

You played it exactly how you were supposed to. Very strategic.

He’s just mad he was five steps behind you when he thought he was two steps ahead.

Cheaters never prosper.

Not even strategic in a sly way, but absolutely reasonable. He did the dirt why should you have to put yourself out financially by immediately ending the relationship at the time he cheated. That’s going to cost you a huge amount in upheaval to your life. He thinks you should have shouldered that cost based on idiot logic.

He believes he should be immune to consequences of his actions and believes everyone else should be put out instead. And if I was to try and sum up everything that’s wrong in the world in terms of geopolitics right now I couldn’t do it better than that…

what do you think ??

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