AITAH for refusing to pay off my pregnant fiancee’s parents’ mortgage, when they are under the threat of foreclosure, when I could “easily” afford to do so?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA
These folks had a paid-off house. They mortgaged it to spend money they didn’t have. Then, they didn’t pay the mortgage. You absolutely shouldn’t spend your money (not “our” money, as your fiancee says) to fix this. You don’t want to create the expectation that you will be their ATM.
Your fiancee and her family can work together to figure this out.
You should consider getting a prenup. If your fiancee handles money in a similar manner to her parents, you might be better off to maintain separate finances.
Absolutely you NOT the AH. Her parents don’t manage money well. Thus a problem of their making so they can figure it out for themselves.
Exactly! Who’s to say that once OP pays off their mortgage they won’t mismanage their money again and ask OP for a loan or gifted money?
Oh they definitely will mismanage money again and then expect another bailout
OP stand firm on this – I promise you, they’ll be in the financial crap with or without your bailout so don’t waste your money
I’d never ask my husband to help my family out of a mess of their own making (if we actually had the $$$)
There are FOUR ADULTS living in that house and they can’t make the mortgage payment… That’s wild. That’s not something a lump sum is going to fix.
There is also absolutely nothing stopping them from taking out another mortgage as soon as op pays off this one, just like they did before to get themselves in this mess.
If Op pays this, he’s setting himself up to forever be the safety net for people who are unconcerned about their own housing safety (making they certainly will not be concerned about his fiscal security).
NTA
This. And I did not see a repayment plan mentioned. Also fiancee is a little free and loose with “our” money. Yall aren’t even married yet. She seems to feel very entitled to your assets. I have to wonder if the situation was reversed and your family asked for this type of gift, if she would risk her own financial future.
NTA.
“We” would not be hurting? Of course she wouldn’t be hurting because it’s not her money. It’s pretty easy to spend someone else’s money, isn’t it?
You’re a musician, not a surgeon. You could make A LOT more money than a surgeon, or it could all go away. You know that until you have enough money for retirement stocked away, you need to be careful with your finances, which you smartly are. Awesome.
I hope you have a prenup in place before the wedding.
Her parents inherited a paid off house and then took out a mortgage they could not afford. They are not reliable people to give money to. Just because she loves them or loves the house isn’t enough. She may resent you and you her depending on what happens next. I would be very hesitant to have her parents play so vital a role in your marriage by giving them anything.
This might be one of those things that breaks your relationship if she still sees her parents as the primary relationship/ family in her life v you and your kid on the way.
