While most people want the best for their friend’s children, sometimes you have to set some clear boundaries…
Adopting the ‘”t takes a village” mentality and being an aunt or uncle to your loved ones’ children can be a rewarding and valuable experience, but if your friends take your kindness or financial assistance for granted then things can get rapidly escalate into a brutal group chat battle.
So, when a frustrated man decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit’s “Am I the A$#@ole?” about whether or not he was wrong to refuse to sign a demanding, bizarre ‘godfather contract’ for his friend’s child, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
“AITA for refusing to be my friends babies godfather after I was given a ‘legally binding contract’ to sign with requirements attached?”
Short story is my wife is from another country and we met a couple in which the husband’s wife is from the same country. We are great friends. Almost 9 years now. Done a lot together, best friends hands down. The husband has no family alive/that talks to him and the wife obviously only has the husband as her family here in the US.
Well the wife is pregnant with a baby girl. For sake of conversation, we will call her ‘Jane’. The husband asked me if I could be Jane’s godfather. To note they are catholic. I was honored. My friend was thrilled and the next day he dropped off an envelope with some papers in it. After he left I looked and it was a legal contract that I needed to sign in order to be the godfather.
Obviously I thought it was a bit overboard but gave it a read anyways. It has many things I MUST do as a godfather. Such as I must go to every catholic event in which Jane attends such as christening, confession, confirmation…etc which I know are normal events for a catholic child’s life.Not a big deal. Then we get into ridiculous things. I have to consider ‘becoming catholic’. I must give a gift of at least $500 for each of these events. And on birthdays/Christmas, gifts must be cash only and over $250.Oh no, it gets worse. I am expected to save at least $25,000 (over Jane’s 18 years) and set it aside for Jane’s future college tuition. Her parents will provide the rest. Seriously?!?
The list goes on to include various things such as being willing to cancel any plans I have if they need me to watch Jane or if they go on vacation (apparently Jane can’t go?). Many of the other things on the list were silly or not a big deal (like spending time with her once a week).I called my friend and said it was nothing personal but there was no way I would sign it. He got mad and said I am the only family they got it and I should be thankful and honored to be asked. I told him I was honored but the rules were extreme and ridiculous. Especially when it comes to the money involved.
He brought up that he knows I am godfather to a niece I have and I send her money. Which I do. I give her $100 a year (in her country that’s a ton of money). I told him there’s a big difference between $100 and tens of thousands over 18 years.He essentially told me he thought I was a ‘good guy’ but it was apparent I was selfish. He has since blocked my number and my email. His wife has too. Mind you his wife and mine talked nearly every day.Since he ended things, I shredded the papers he gave me and left them in a bag and put it in his mailbox for him with him telling him it was a shame he ruined a friendship over ridiculous demands. I told him I forgive him regardless.
Lastly, I will note together this couple makes almost $200,000 a year. My wife and I make not even $35,000 a year.
So AITA for refusing to be Jane’s godfather?
Here’s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
Haha! Wait you’re serious? AHAHAHA! NTA ( Not the A#*^ole). Sounds like they think you’re a sucker and want to use you as a free ATM machine. They want you to pony up at least 25 thousand dollars for future college fund? No no, they want you to just pay for their kid while they can spend their own money on whatever they want. – ChewMyFudge
NTA. Putting 25,000 away for a child’s college tuition that isn’t even yours is a HUGE ask. I’ve never heard of a God parent giving so much money at every event and they really shouldn’t be surprised that you didn’t go through with it.
Most people wouldn’t be able to handle that financial burden and they’re going to learn that the hard way. I’m sorry that this situation ruined your friendship and hopefully they’ll see just how much of a selfish as*hole they’re being – thatonegirljen
NTA. You didn’t refuse to become Jane’s godfather–you refused to sign a crazy and completely unacceptable ‘contract.’ That is not a normal part of becoming a godfather under any tradition. – PurpleMarsAlien
NTA. What a baffling, greedy list of demands. I’m sorry you lost a friendship over this, but … they don’t seem like good friends to have. – dbthrowawayrowaway
NTA. Are they insane? I’m glad you read the contract before signing anything! – spudtacularstories
So, there you have it!
Everyone fully agreed that this man wasn’t wrong at all to refuse these wild, entitled demands and while it’s sad to lose a friend, it’s probably for the best. Good luck, everyone!
