AITA for refusing to keep paying “Black tax” even though my family is struggling?

I’m a 28 year old African woman working in a decent job as a teacher. I’m not rich, but I’m doing okay. Ever since I started working, I’ve been expected to help out my extended family, paying for groceries, covering school fees for cousins, sending money to my mom monthly, etc.

In our culture, it’s seen as a duty, what people call “Black tax.” I understood this growing up. I’ve helped where I could. But lately it’s become too much. My siblings now expect me to cover everything, and my mom doesn’t say no to them. I’m expected to help with bills, car repairs, and now even a wedding contribution for my younger cousin’s wedding.

I finally said, “No more.” I’ve started saving for my own life, therapy, travel, and a deposit for my own apartment. I told my family that I’m not a bank, and they need to start standing on their own feet. I told my mom I will only help with the needs and she cried. My aunt called me “whitewashed.” My brother said I’ve become selfish and forgotten where I came from🤦🏽‍♀️But I’ve spent years putting their needs first. I’ve missed opportunities, drained my savings, and lived paycheck to paycheck while they bought new phones and clothes. I still love them. But I’m tired of carrying everyone.

AITA for choosing myself?

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AITA, asked the neighbor to move their ‘little farm stand’ because people are stealing from MY garden

Before anyone says ‘just build a fence’ WE CAN’T AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW. And no, no HOA.

My neighbor set up one of those pantries/farm stands where people can take items that they grew in their garden, pantry stuff, donated stuff, etc. In theory it’s a great idea and especially in a time when life in America sucks ass and people are struggling to make ends meet (my family included)

The problem: people started coming into MY yard to pick things in MY garden. I’ve put up signs saying not to do it, I installed rabbit fence around the garden, I’ve angled a tarp so you can’t see what’s there from the road. People just hold their kids over the fence to pick tomatoes and beans or jump it.

I ended up getting into an argument with a lady over it. I yelled HEY, STOP. THOSE ARE NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE. She told her kid to move faster and then tried to run away. I caught up to her and asked her what the fuck her problem was and she turned it into how dare I swear in front of her child, why am I so angry, am I really that upset about a couple tomatoes. I said I am upset that you are STEALING from me.

The next day, I approached my neighbor. I asked if I could maybe help move it to the other side of their driveway so it’s next to the other neighbor’s house. They don’t have a garden out front. They said at least not until the end of the season. I asked if they could make larger signs, talk to people, just do SOMETHING..

They were like “can you really not afford to share?” I said that they aren’t taking my zucchini because they’re starving, they’re taking my tomatoes because they WANT them. They said that I’m going to have to learn to live with it for now and we can talk about a solution together that will benefit the whole community after. I said I do not care about a solution that benefits the whole community. I care about a solution that stops people from STEALING FROM ME

So last night it happened again, man in his 50s. I sprayed his ass with the hose. He started yelling at me and after a minute or so the neighbor came out yelling at me too. People have posted on the neighborhood board to be careful if they come by because I’m an asshole. The neighbor says I’m scaring people away from a community resource. I told him that I’m going to continue until he does something about the fucking thieves who feel entitled to MY GARDEN.

I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind here. Am I the asshole for asking them to move it? Am I the asshole for being PISSED OFF that people are fucking STEALING from me? This is food for my family.

First off, thanks for the responses. I got some good ones. I’m happy that so many of you live in places where the cops would do anything about this, but this isn’t the reality I’m living. Cops here would not give a shit if I sent them a video of someone picking from my garden. They would laugh in my face. Be thankful if you live in a place where the police are useful.

It looks like signs are the best option for now. Going to make signs indicating heavy use of pesticides and repeating that they are stealing food from the mouths of hungry children. I don’t know why the signs we already have up aren’t enough. Maybe more will help. I’m sure they won’t.

Will also scour Craigslist for free fencing or similar items. Hopefully that pans out.