“AITA for wanting to kick my friend and her baby out of my home and I refuse to pay for her 50” TV that broke?”
Hi. I need some advice and wanna know if I’m in the wrong for wanting my friend to move out and her baby and she seems upset that I didn’t offer to fix her TV.
For context: my friend, we’ll call her A, moved in early December. She had a domestic situation and needed a friend. She has no one so I, being the people pleaser, let her and her 1 year old come stay with me. The agreement was she could use my spare room for a short period, until she found something else. She agreed.
The day she moved in she brought her 50”tv and a lot of her belongings. She out the TV on my shelf in the middle room. And this room is kinda small and I did have some storage stuff like decorations and stuff that just doesn’t have a “place”. I told her this before she came. My son had a room as well. He does not live with me full time and rarely stays the night.
He does come over and spends time with me but he is the type to want to be in his home and bed in his comfortable place which, sadly for me, is his dad’s and Mimi’s. Anyway, I’m a mail carrier and on the road a lot. She called me asked me if she could move some things around. I thought she meant the things in the room I let her stay in. Sadly I was wrong.
I came home from work and seen she had moved all my son’s things out of his room and into the middle room. I tried to evaluate the situation and not over react. I thought, well he really doesn’t stay here so maybe it’s okay?! Well my son came over that same day she did this. Her 50” TV, that was previously on my rack in the middle room, is now on the FLOOR leaned up against something in my son’s, now previous, room.
My son goes in there and looked around and the TV fell over and the whole screen went black. She accused him, to me, of breaking her TV. Also, she keeps passively making comments about how I should offer her something for that.
Not to mention, she has been here 7 weeks. I gave her 6 months. My Husband got laid off and I tried to ask her to find something sooner bc I’m the only one working and I can’t carry the weight of 2 extra. She tried to guilt me into feeling sorry for her and told me no she wasn’t leaving. That I told her 6 months and that’s what she expects.
Today she asked me if she could take the 20” TV I gave her for a temporary replacement, with my living room TV, “since no one watches it much anyway.” Her words. I told her I get up hours earlier than everyone and enjoy a few hours of alone time and I watch it everyday. Her response was “well I just figured since your son is the one who broke mine you for offer something!”
At this point I’m boiling inside. Not only has she rearranged my whole house, raked my leaves, set up my front plants and decor neatly. Everything expect the dishes and what I really need done. She is supposed to be going to online school, but claims she is too busy with her 1 year old she can’t.
But she manages to rake leaves, label all my cabinets, sweep, mop,ect. Everything but the dishes, which is the main thing I asked her to do while I was at work. I don’t know how to react without getting upset.
I really want her out and go back in our agreement. She is over stepping boundaries, over reacting when I try to set boundaries. I need a way to calmly tell her to get out?!
Thanks in advance. Sorry if there are some missing details. Ask and I’ll elaborate.
This is what people had to say to OP:
Bizzabean1013 said:
You need to be direct. I would sit her down and have a conversation with her explaining that this is no longer a good fit as you are feeling disrespected in your home and it is causing undue stress for you and your husband. Tell her you cannot afford the extra two mouths to feed and that it is no longer suitable or fair to anyone.
I would also nip the passive aggressive comments about the TV in the bud immediately. She had absolutely no right to take over your son’s room, rearrange everything and then ask for the better television in the house. If she refuses to leave, let her know, that while it would hurt you, you will get the police involved.
You and your husband are priority number one, your space is YOUR space and your rules are to be followed. You need to take care of your family and your peace of mind. Unfortunately, this means your friend has to go. If you’re feeling generous, you can let her know that you will spend ONE day helping her look for other arrangements. You also need to give her an exact date to be out by: one week, two weeks, etc.
OP responded:
Yeah I tried being direct and we ended up in a screaming match. I thought things were gonna get physical. I clearly see I’m being taken advantage of and want her gone. She is trying her best to guilt trip me.
Aeoniuma said:
Find all your paperwork, change your pins and passwords and lock down your credit, check your credit score make sure she has no access to your information.
OP responded:
Never even thought about that! Thank you
SignificanceHead9957 said:
Yeah, the rent she saved should buy her a couple of tv’s.
OP shared this small update in the comments:
I have a 30 day notice typed up and I’m getting it notarized. I have a date on it to be out. I’m gonna ignore her beat I can and lock up the things I don’t want her to touch/use and stay gone as much as possible for the next 30 days. I’ll update again soon.
